During my short time here at San Juan Diego Catholic High School, I've had the pleasure of being able to interview some amazing students. The students that I've interviewed have all been seniors, about to graduate from high school and make their mark on the world. What has amazed me about the students I've interviewed is how ambitious and selfless they are. They devote their time to not only their studies, but they devote their time to helping out in their community by volunteering at local organizations.
These students are also grateful for the opportunity to come to such an amazing school. Every single student I interviewed expressed to me how thankful they were for the sacrifices their parents made. One student even spoke of how he wanted to build a house for his parents after he finished his masters degree. Although the way the students wanted to express their gratitude to their parents for pushing them to go further in their education and giving them the opportunity to do so, it was all gratitude nonetheless.
From my point of view, it's very refreshing to see the younger generations of students be so grateful for what they have. It's rare, I think, when older generations can look at younger generations and take a lesson from them. I know some people from older generations who dwell on every worry, every stress, and they don't look at the bigger picture of how blessed they are with everything they have. Some of these students I interviewed don't have much, but they are thankful and see what they have, and are happy nonetheless.
At times when we feel overly stressed or overworked, we should take a step back and see all that we've accomplished in our lives; we need to take a few notes from the younger generation every now and then. We need to realize, in this crazy world filled with work and everyday life stresses, we should be carefree at times while still realizing how blessed we are to have the things that we have.
Talking to a Stranger
For the past several months I've been focusing on answering the call.... not just answering the call to leadership but also answering the call to discovering who I am and being the best version of myself. Since I’ve started my leadership journey, I’ve really been confronted with determining what matters most in my life; discovering where I am right now, where I want to be in the future, and faced with the task of setting priorities. Through the Gr8 Leaders Program, I have been challenged, pushed, and encouraged to find and become who I was born to be.
The only problem is… it’s quite exhausting. Most people would think that after 28 years of life, you’d already know who you are, what you want to be, where you’re going, and it would be a piece of cake to list your passions in life. To be honest, I truly feel like I’ve been talking to a stranger.
I’ve found that the real issue most of us women face is the intimidating question of how we can stop trying to be who we aren’t, let go of who we think we’re supposed to be, and hold true to who we were born to be. This is the exact foundation of the book “The Gifts of Imperfection.” Through the bombardment of messages from social media, expectations from ourselves, our boss, co-workers, friends and family, we are led to believe that if we could only be perfect and live perfect lives, we’d no longer feel inadequate. We’d be the perfect picture of people-pleasing women with the super powers to be skinny regardless of the mounds of chocolate cake we devour on a bad day. It’s the epitome of false fronts, it’s damaging, it’s exhausting, and it’s not who I was born to be.
I was born to be a positive leader with the ability to be honest, authentic, and open. It’s a vulnerable transparency that creates the ability to understand others. It comes in many shapes and forms, is developed through experiences, and it is unique… but it all leads back to the passion and desire to create an environment that is inviting and rejects false fronts. It’s facing the challenge of distinguishing myself as a unique individual who was created to make a difference in the lives of others. Leadership is the ability to answer tough questions about my attitudes towards other people, outside circumstances, and myself.
It’s through these tough questions that I have found out who I am. I’ve become myself through mistakes, failures, obstacles, failed relationships, divorce, disappointments, and the difficulties of being a single mom. Most importantly, I’ve become myself by learning to have the courage, compassion, and faith to know that people are both the obstacle and the solution to every goal I have.
Leadership… though the word can be quite intimidating at times, its merely the simple ability to lead yourself and others quickly to high levels of effectiveness and it all depends on your capability to maintain a focus, regardless of the circumstances that arise. You have to make mistakes to find out who you aren’t, you have to take action to find out what you’re capable of and you need to have courage to find out who you are.
“I am strong because I’ve been weak. I am beautiful because I am aware of my flaws. I am brave because I’ve been afraid. I am wise because I’ve been foolish. I regret nothing in my life, even if my past was full of hurt. I can still look back and smile because it made me who I am today.”
Through the journey of discovering who I was born to be, I am reminded that allowing circumstances to dictate my attitudes and actions will only prevent me from becoming the leader I am called to be. The truth is I do not have to control situations or other people to reach the goals that matter most to me. I have the power and control to recognize the unlimited potential for creating a positive contribution to my family, friends, coworkers, and faith community.
I am so grateful to have wonderful, honest, and Godly women in my life and I’m so thankful for this journey to becoming a great leader. So, as I challenge myself, I also challenge other women… don’t talk to a stranger. Find out who you are, answer the tough questions, discover how you too can love who you are and become the person you were meant to be.
The SOS Gr8 Women Leaders Program is a year-long leadership development program designed to empower and equip leaders to make a difference. Click here to learn more! Also, check out this short video!
Texas Conference for Women: Leyma Gbowee's Reminder that IT IS POSSIBLE
Ana-Cristina is the Director of Stewardship and Development for Saint William’s Catholic Church in Round Rock. She holds a BS in Human Development and Family Sciences from THE University of Texas and a Masters in Communications and Organizational Leadership from Gonzaga University. When she is not spending time with her amazing niece, she can be found enjoying the wonderful city of Austin, TX!
Pih.Tih.Ful. Pitiful. That is how I would describe how I was feeling the day before attending the Texas Women’s Conference. I was full of discouragement and doubt. I remember telling several people that I hoped the conference would give me the pep talk I so desperately needed. I was not disappointed.
The morning keynotes were a great start to the day. They were energetic, up-beat, and positive….so far, so good. I could feel myself relaxing a little bit. I went into the first break out session and was definitely inspired by the women talking about shifts they made in their lives to create big changes whether it was personal or professional. It took me back to my coaching call…what change did I need to make in my personal and professional life to make things better? The only control I have is over me and not others. What could I be doing differently? Ok…even better, I was relaxing and beginning to problem solve.
Lunch was upon us and I was curious to see how it would all work because I had noticed there were several speakers besides the keynote, Rachel Ray. Two speakers stood out to me, Sallie Krawcheck and Leymah Gbowee. Sallie challenged and motivated me on a professional level. Leymah challenged my heart and my soul.
Leymah Gbowee is a Noble Peace Prize winner who is credited for ending the civil war in Liberia by organizing a women’s peace movement. Leymah is the type of person who walks into a room and everyone suddenly gets quieter. She has a presence. From the moment she began speaking, the room was silent and electric all at the same time. Leymah spoke on her work, always beginning each story with the question “Is it possible to change the tide?” She would then proceed with stories, incredible stories on how people’s lives were changed, how history was changed in her country, how the world was changed, through her courageous work and by not remaining silent.
Is it possible to change the tide? Yes, she said, but only when we step out of our comfort zone. She spoke of being constantly told she was crazy, that what she wanted to do was impossible, but she has learned that the power of possibility is the power that changes the world. The world might be saying it’s impossible, but we are saying it IS possible. The power of possibility always makes you look like a fool, but you must step up and step out of your comfort zone. She ended her time with a challenge saying “the world is waiting to hear from someone in this room…for you to make a fool out of yourself to change the tide. Let’s make it possible for some woman, some girl to dream.”
How did she know that I needed to hear this? I joke that I don’t know what the other people in the room were doing while she was talking directly to me, but it felt like that keynote was scheduled just for me. I left that day on fire! I left re-charged. I left rejuvenated. I left feeling like I wasn’t alone. When the room gave Leymah a standing ovation, I realized I am not the only one who gets discouraged or has dark cloud days. Leymah challenged me not to give up and keep going. Baby steps are still steps forward. Tides can’t be changed in one day or even a year, but the tiniest of steps can result in the greatest of changes. I may not be there to see the fruits of my labor, but I must keep moving even at the risk of sounding foolish.
I went to work the next day and had back to back meetings with the leadership in my organization on some topics that I had been silent on. It was good to talk about it and I received some good feedback. Were all the problems solved? No, but things were brought to light and when things are no longer hidden in the darkness….change can happen.
My Leadership Journey at Concordia University
Brandon Pederson is President of The Executives
Business Club at Concordia University and part of the Student Government
Committee of the Student Athletic Advisory Council where he is the voice of the
university’s athletes during Student Government meetings.
My leadership journey at Concordia University began
when I was elected President of The Executives Business Club, an organization
of business students whose mission is to “build upon one another for a better
future.” We meet once a week to discuss current business events, bring in
members of the surrounding business community to have conversations with, and
improve our university through service projects and events. I organize the
meetings every week and plan out what we will discuss.
This semester, I was able
to have the President of Rada International, a global supply-chain solutions
company, come speak with us. Along with myself, I have a Vice President,
Secretary, Treasurer, Risk Management Officer, and a Marketing Officer. I
delegate tasks to each member of my team to make the club run more smoothly. Along with serving as President of The Executives Business Club, I also
serve on the Student Government Committee of the Student Athletic Advisory
Council. I am the voice of the university’s athletes during Student Government
meetings.
Representing not only my golf team, but the entire athlete population
at the university has given me a greater sense of responsibility and
leadership. I am held to a higher standard than other students because I represent
my fellow athletes on the committee, as well as business students in The
Executives. I greatly enjoy having this extra sense of responsibility and
leadership. I have learned how to better lead and manage people with these
leadership positions, and I look forward to continuing this next semester.
Today's post is the fourth post in the Student's Who Lead blog series.
Leadership Lessons from Nelson Mandela
This week the world is mourning the loss of a truly remarkable leader. Nelson Mandela's legacy will live on. As a leader, he taught us all so much about resilience, courage, forgiveness, and being a game-changer.
Now, a tribute to Nelson Mandela, a leader who made a real and lasting difference in his 95 years. We share with you today his own words, words that speak volumes about the way he approached leadership:
Now, a tribute to Nelson Mandela, a leader who made a real and lasting difference in his 95 years. We share with you today his own words, words that speak volumes about the way he approached leadership:
"A good head and a good heart are always a formidable combination."
"It always seems impossible until it's done."
"It is never my custom to use words lightly. If twenty-seven years in prison have done anything to us, it was to use the silence of solitude to make us understand how precious words are and how real speech is in its impact on the way people live and die."
"Reconciliation means working together to correct the legacy of past injustice."
"Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world."
"Lead from the back, and let others believe they are in front."
"I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear."
"Do not judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again."
"When people are determined, they can overcome anything."
Which of Nelson Mandela's quotes most inspires you to lead?
Ashley Moyer’s Leadership Journey (The Concordia MBA part 13)
As I have mentioned in previous posts, The Concordia MBA program emphasizes teamwork. In most classes, the semester ends with a large
group project. Last semester in Operations Management was a strategic plan, in
other classes it was putting together proposals or an analysis of accounting frauds.
The teams change from semester to semester. At the beginning
of each semester, I find myself taking a back seat while figuring out group
dynamics. Even though we all know each other well, each team seems to work
differently from the one before. In some
semesters I have been the team leader, in others I supported another leader.
As the fall semester was coming to an end, I decided to step up. I sought out my
own business to work with (shout out to the folks at Student Loan Benefits!),
recruited my classmates for interest in the project, and facilitated an
introduction meeting last week. My team is already putting together an action
plan for our semester as consultants with SLB.
As a leader, it is important to know when to lead and when
to be led. However, if you have a clear vision, you must be proactive in making
the vision come to fruition. As Paul J Meyer said, “Whatever you vividly imagine, ardently desire, sincerely believe, and
enthusiastically act upon, must inevitably come to pass.”
Texas Conference for Women: Am I the Problem?
One of the sessions I attended at the Texas Conference for Women was called Winning from Within, and it gave me a lot to think about. Internationally renowned negotiation and conflict resolution pioneer Erica Ariel Fox offered a forward-thinking approach to leading and living by mastering the “negotiation within.” Fox says that the most important negotiations start from within ourselves, rather than with others.
As we learn how to negotiate, we are often taught to separate the people from the problem. Sound advice, right?
Here's what Ms. Fox said that most resonated with me:
Separating the people from the problem doesn't work if the people are the problem. It also doesn't work if I am part of the problem.
Ms. Fox then asked us to ponder these questions:
What if I am the problem? What if I'm getting in my own way? Do I know how to negotiate with myself?
She reminded us that we each have many internal voices, which she referred to as inner negotiators. We hear, "I want," "I think," "I feel," "I should do this
or that," etc. on a daily basis. There's not just one voice. And unfortunately the voices often disagree.
Ms. Fox asserts that we each have our own Inner Executive Team that consists of:
Your Inner CEO - Creates possibilities: Sets strategic vision, gives direction.
Your Inner CFO - Clarifies perspectives: Analyzes data, manages risk.
Your Inner VP of HR - Cares about people: Feels emotions, manages relationships.
Your Inner COO - Catalyzes performance: Takes action, reaches goals.
We all have a tendency to focus on one or two members of our Inner Executive Team, but the other members are there, and sometimes they create confusion about how we should move forward. Which member of your Executive Team are you most inclined to listen to? Where is their inner conflict between the members of your own Executive Team?
My key takeaway: The next time I'm approaching a negotiation situation, I should ask myself honestly if I am part of the problem. Not in a negative, self-deprecating way, but in a candid, thoughtful way with an openness to what I need to learn and how I need to grow. Leaders are accountable. We recognize our own shortcomings and commit to learning from our mistakes. We recognize that truly remarkable leadership requires negotiating not just with others, but also with ourselves.
Are You the Lid?
I have seen a lot of organizations fail because of poor leadership. I truly believe that this is the main reason any company fails. The blame tends to fall elsewhere, but if your organization is failing you may want to look in the mirror to find the person responsible. Often I believe leaders forget that their own personal growth determines the growth of their followers. John Maxwell calls this the law of the lid.
No organization, no group of people can outgrow the leader. If the CEO of an organization is not committed to his or her own growth then the organization will eventually fail. The rest of the people cannot grow past the leader. These leaders in organizations who have stopped growing often blame their people for poor results. These leaders may pick apart every little thing someone does. They become the ultimate micro-managers.
Don't become this type of leader. Don't be the lid for your organization or for any group of people you lead. Commit to your own personal development. Never stop learning and growing. Because as we say in our soon to be released book (The Turnaround Feb 2014), "If You Don't Grow, You GO!"
Don't become this type of leader. Don't be the lid for your organization or for any group of people you lead. Commit to your own personal development. Never stop learning and growing. Because as we say in our soon to be released book (The Turnaround Feb 2014), "If You Don't Grow, You GO!"
Milestones
Kassi Kincaid is a sophomore at Concordia University
Texas. She is a business major currently serving as a Senator of the Business
College and Student Worker in charge of Speaker Series.
Some days are extra special. They serve as milestones along ones journey. December 5, 2013 was such a day for me. The College of Business celebrated hosting their 50th speaker by a reflection speaker series over the past five years. For me this was not only a day of reminiscing for the College of Business, but a moment of reflecting back on my leadership journey as student worker currently in charge of hosting these events.
This journey started last November when Dean Christian invited me to lunch with the CEO speakers and also asked me if I would help greet people beforehand. I was thrilled because I saw this as a great opportunity, but didn’t know where it would lead me. Since that day, I have continued to help with every speaker series and find myself now working the event.
This job presents several responsibilities and opportunities for leadership. First, I am the first face the speaker sees on campus, so first impressions and how I present myself really reflect the school in a major way. Second, I am in charge of managing the people I get to help me run the event. Since my concentration is business management, this has been a golden opportunity to practice both leadership and management skills. Two main things I have taken away from this job are 1) Communication skills are essential and 2) Passion makes all the difference in what you do.
Communication is the cohesive bond that makes speaker series possible, from the day I start preparing to the time of the actual event. Passion is a tool of leadership, inspiring others by the excitement and effort you display. I am grateful how this job has been a part of my leadership journey and I look forward to seeing what the future speaker series have in store.
Today's post is the third post in the Student's Who Lead blog series.
Some days are extra special. They serve as milestones along ones journey. December 5, 2013 was such a day for me. The College of Business celebrated hosting their 50th speaker by a reflection speaker series over the past five years. For me this was not only a day of reminiscing for the College of Business, but a moment of reflecting back on my leadership journey as student worker currently in charge of hosting these events.
This journey started last November when Dean Christian invited me to lunch with the CEO speakers and also asked me if I would help greet people beforehand. I was thrilled because I saw this as a great opportunity, but didn’t know where it would lead me. Since that day, I have continued to help with every speaker series and find myself now working the event.
This job presents several responsibilities and opportunities for leadership. First, I am the first face the speaker sees on campus, so first impressions and how I present myself really reflect the school in a major way. Second, I am in charge of managing the people I get to help me run the event. Since my concentration is business management, this has been a golden opportunity to practice both leadership and management skills. Two main things I have taken away from this job are 1) Communication skills are essential and 2) Passion makes all the difference in what you do.
Communication is the cohesive bond that makes speaker series possible, from the day I start preparing to the time of the actual event. Passion is a tool of leadership, inspiring others by the excitement and effort you display. I am grateful how this job has been a part of my leadership journey and I look forward to seeing what the future speaker series have in store.
Today's post is the third post in the Student's Who Lead blog series.
Texas Conference for Women: Power of Possibility
Heather Caraway is a Global Project Manager in Commercial Sales Operations at Dell, Inc. She helps to lead the global deployment and optimization of a sales enablement tool designed to deliver Dell’s hardware and services to customers for evaluation. Heather has been involved in CASA, Hill Country Conservancy, Mobile Loaves and Fishes, Leadership Austin, and served on the Board of Directors for the Young Women’s Alliance. She is currently enjoying life as a newlywed and loves reading, writing, fitness, anything outdoors, exploring new things in Austin, and traveling.
As weird as it is, I often think about the mortality of
human life and how we only get so many chances. It’s easy
to discount your life and to think that there is only one of you and a ton of
issues or problems to tackle so why try or make an effort?
I had the pleasure of attending this year’s Texas Conference for Women where
the theme was “The Power of Possibilities”. I couldn’t help but ask myself as I
sat during the opening session amongst 5,000+ women feeling fairly overwhelmed:
But how do you take the idea that there is only one you, and a ton of
possibilities for your life and actually DO something about it?” I have a tendency to overcomplicate
things (ahem, analysis paralysis) so when the answer hit me around 10 a.m. as I
was attending a session with the fabulously hilarious Mel Robbins, a CNN and HLN
Legal contributor, lawyer-turned-life coach, and author of Stop Saying You’re Fine, it was a little too simple for my taste –
how do you take one you, one life, and create the limitless Power of Possibility? You just do.
We sabotage ourselves at every turn. Our brains don’t want us to work outside our
comfort zone and as long as we are trying to do things that take extra effort
or brain mass (which let’s face it, is anything worth doing), we are going to
tell ourselves no. We are going to come up with a million excuses why we
shouldn’t do it instead of one as to why we should.
I’ll give you an example from about 5 minutes ago – writing
this blog post, I told myself about 10 reasons why I couldn’t/shouldn’t do it: I
got sick for a week and I missed the deadline, the deadline was over the
Thanksgiving holiday weekend, I am still getting over being sick, I’m too busy
with family, I’m out of town, I don’t know what to write about, I haven’t
written in a long time, what if it isn’t relevant, it’s not that important that
I write it…so on and so forth.
And then I started to think about Leymah Gbowee, a keynote speaker
at the conference. Leymah is a Nobel Peace Laureate and Liberian peace activist
who helped bring an end to the Second Liberian Civil War in 2003 (whoa, bring
on the power). At one point she and her family lived as homeless refugees,
begging for food and almost starving, yet she took the single act of getting a
group of women together to talk about what action
they were going to take to stop the violence affecting so many – and she did it. I wonder – how many
times did her brain tell her no, and that she couldn’t do it? And how many
times did she forge ahead anyway?
In today’s world, we have an infinite number of decisions on
a daily basis and those decisions lead to possibilities…or they don’t. How many
times do we let those moments to grasp a possibility or change for our life
pass us by because we let our brains win? I think sometimes we feel said action
has to be some large gesture in one swoop, like losing 50 pounds, writing a
book, or ending social injustice in the world. But it doesn’t – it can be
something as small as turning off the TV and going for a walk, writing a
paragraph in a notebook, or volunteering once a month with an organization that
brings development and opportunity to the disadvantaged. If we get into a place of action, of doing, then we are automatically
putting ourselves into the Power of Possibility. But if we do nothing, then
our brain will continue to tell us no, our lives don’t change, and the world
doesn’t change.
I’ll leave you with a quote from Stop Saying You’re Fine:
It’s
time to reconsider your limits. In the modern world, fear is baggage. You need
to question all those feelings and signals that your unconscious mind is
sending you. Caution keeps you from making a change. Worry stops you from
taking action. Uncertainty prevents you from exploring and breaking out of your
routines. Anxiety inhibits you from taking even the most basic risks…You must
break out of your personal ruts so you can truly and honestly feel happy and
satisfied with your life. Finding meaning and purpose in your life is the “new
survival.”
So, that is my challenge to myself and to you – what is the
ONE action you are going to take today to reconsider your limits and open
yourself up to the Power of Possibility? What is the one thing you can do today
that may change your life next week or the world in a year? Ignore your brain,
and go do it.
