Training Leaders: Start With A Spark

Dr. Stephanie Poole Martinez is an Associate Professor of Communication at St. Edward's University.

As an educator I have often heard at conferences, graduations, and read in colleagues teaching philosophies the quote that has become a cliché and that has been misattributed at times to Yeats, “Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire.”  It is a good quote regardless of the author or its over-use.  As a professor who teaches Leadership, I hope that I have contributed to a few fires over the years.

On the other hand, as I think about this quote and my life, I worry that I have worried too much about these fires and not enough about the sparks.  I teach all the theories of Leadership in my class from Trait Theory to Servant Leadership.  We concentrate on understanding theories and being able to apply them in our lives.  We do research on big issues and important leaders.  I wonder.  Am I trying to get to the fire too quickly?  As I sit in my office looking at my computer I wonder what other ways I make a difference.  Have I lost my own fire?

This summer I started volunteering with my 7 year-old daughter with an organization called, Little Helping Hands.  I actually found the group through Amber Moyer Fogarty when I asked her about places that would welcome our family’s help and not just mine.  At Little Helping Hands you sign up for spots on a monthly calendar to volunteer at various places around Austin.  My daughter and I made Macaroni and Cheese the other day for Caritas of Austin.  Did I have other things to do?  Yes.  Could I have gone and bought pre-made macaroni and cheese and dropped off a crate of it?  Probably.  The difference is I spent the afternoon talking to my daughter about hunger in Austin and around the world.  We discussed the ways we are trying to solve hunger and the ways we have succeeded and the ways we have failed. 

In my classes I often do service learning.  I have published and presented conference papers in the area.  I have volunteered for nonprofit organizations over the years.  Lately though, I admit I have become complacent.  I thought I had lost my fire.  I am too busy being a professor and a Mom.  I have papers to grade, research to do, publications to submit, and classes to prepare.  I stopped donating my time and talents and relied on writing checks.  And believe me, nonprofits need those checks as well, but they also need our time.  They need us to create sparks. This summer I decided I was tired of being tired when I got home from work.  It was time to find my own fire again.  Since the day we made macaroni and cheese, my daughter has mentioned volunteering and wants to know when we can do it again.  Will she forget about last week?  Maybe.  But I hope I have lit a spark that someday will become a fire.  I know that my own fire was not out.  It was simply smoldering and waiting to roar again.  

Today's post is number twelve of the SOS Leadership Austin Leading Ladies' Blog Series. The purpose of this blog series is to share the stories and insights of women who are answering the call to leadership in their lives. Come back each Friday to read more!

The Power of the Pause Button - Part 2 of 3

Today's blog post is the second in a three-part series called The Power of the Pause Button where SOS Leadership Partner Amber Fogarty explores the art of thinking before we speak and why this is particularly important for those who lead. To read the first post in this series, click here.

Last week talked about how important it is for a leader to use his/her pause button. We all know in our heads that we need to think before we speak, but sometimes the words are out of our mouths, and we desperately want to put them back in.

When do you need your pause button most?

Leadership is all about relationships, and we most need to push the pause button when we know that our words may damage the relationship. This is a reality for all leaders, at work, in our communities, and in the privacy of our own homes. Relationships matter. We depend on people, and people depend on us. Thus, we have to remain passionately obsessed with effective communication.

Over the last week, I've discussed this topic with a number of leaders, and the conversations have been fascinating. One of the most interesting responses made me think about how long we may need to press pause.

At times we push pause for a matter of seconds, collect our thoughts, and are ready to respond, rather than react. But sometimes that process lasts minutes, hours, even days, particularly when the stakes are high.

Think about a recent conflict you had at work or at home. Did you press your pause button so that you could make sure you chose your words intentionally and thoughtfully? Or did you react without choosing your words carefully and say things you later wish you could take back?

Let's be honest...we're not always successful in pushing the pause button when we need to, right? Hindsight is 20/20, and we can all look back on moments when we sincerely wish we would've kept our mouth shut!

So what do we do when in those moments? As leaders, what do we expect of ourselves? How do we handle these situations at work and at home? 

A vitally important characteristic for a leader is the ability to say "I'm sorry." We need to be able to take a step back, assess the situation, and admit when we're wrong and/or when we've behaved in a way that doesn't align with the leadership we aspire to practice.

John Miller contends that, "Humility is the cornerstone of leadership." I couldn't agree more. My question for myself today is this: How will I practice humility today?

Come back next Wednesday to read the final post in this three-part series! Have a great day!

3 Tips for Living Your Dreams and Overcoming Adversity

Christine Pegg is a graduate of St. Edward's University 09' . While pursuing her Master's degree in Public Relations from the University of Houston, Christine underwent life changing emergency brain stem surgery in February 2012. She began her blog, xtinedanielle.com, as a recovery tool and support system exemplifying the healing power of social media. Christine now works as a blogger and social media strategist in Houston, Texas.

Never think twice about investing in yourself. 

Whether you're thinking about grad school or you've always wanted to start your own blog or small business, make your dreams a reality. The saying about doing what you love and you'll never work a day in your life is so true! Don't be afraid to take the next step to whatever it is that you want to accomplish.

I was lucky enough to go to graduate school and pursue further education in public relations. It was an excellent growing experience, and I'm glad I did it.

I also have started my own blog which has always been a dream of mine and I love what I do. Working in social media and digital public relations is the goal and dream I've had for a very long time, if I never invested the time, energy, and financial backing to accomplish these dreams, I wouldn't be where I am today.

It's true that hardships will only make you stronger. We all have within us the power to overcome.

Life can tend to throw us some unexpected curveballs every once in a while. A part of being a leader is your resilience. We all have hard times and we work hard to achieve our triumphs and victories. Don't get discouraged when things go awry. Stay focused on your goals.

In my case, I had emergency brain stem surgery. It really did knock me off my feet. It was important for me to dedicate the appropriate time to heal and let myself recover properly. 

Be sure to give yourself a break if you're overworked or overwhelmed. If possible, take a trip, skip town for a few days, and just focus on relaxing. You'll come back refreshed, recharged, and ready to go. You may even have a new view on the project you're working on.

Be thankful.

In the business and professional world, many of us seem to always be striving for more and more and more. I agree that aspiring to greater things and constantly growing is a wonderful thing but be proud of everything that you have accomplished so far. Be confident in yourself, your abilities, and what you have to offer. Your gratitude and confidence shines through and it's a great, positive state of mind to be in, conducive to moving forward in life.

Christine's social media links:

Christine's blog - xtinedanielle.com

Twitter - twitter.com/xtineds

Today's post is the eleventh of the SOS Leadership Austin Leading Ladies' Blog Series. The purpose of this blog series is to share the stories and insights of women who are answering the call to leadership in their lives. Come back each Friday to read more!

Endorphin's Make You Happy!

If you follow SOS on Pinterest, you know that one of our boards is called "Healthy Lifestyle Choices." This board consists of recipes as well as easy to do exercises to create energy and help with that extra boost of motivation.

When I first got on Pinterest, I was obsessed with everything on it; from re-pinning makeup tips, quotes, and even ideas for my wedding. It was an organizers dream come true. A few weeks into pinning I realized I was pinning a ton of stuff and not even trying any of it, especially when it came to the health and fitness tips.

One of my goals this year was to be more physically fit. This of course would involve diet changes as well as being consistent with my workouts. I began to develop a pattern of healthy eating and exercising for about two weeks, and then something would come up either concerning school or the wedding and I would miss a week of workouts. This continued for a while, but as soon as I got back from my honeymoon, I told myself I wanted to feel more energized, I wanted to look good, and I wanted to be more confident. I also wanted to be healthy, as I went through a period of time where I developed a health condition that was thought to be caused by stress. Stress can do horrible things to the body and it is not something that you want to mess with. For the past five weeks my workouts have been consistent, five to six days a week, and my eating habits are much better.

I’m not saying I don’t indulge every week, I think indulging is an important part in leading an overall healthy lifestyle. Dieting will only frustrate you and make you angry because you are depriving yourself of something that you want. Although, everything has to be done in moderation and with that being said, self-discipline will play a huge part in maintaining your healthy lifestyle.

Changing your diet and exercise habits is not an easy thing to do, at first, but it becomes easier with every little change you make to better your physical health. Every little change counts, and staying consistent and making healthy lifestyle choices can only be the result of habit.You don’t have to be skinny or look like one of the people in the magazines; this counts for guys as well. In fact, some magazines, such as Vogue for example, have taken the initiative to draw away from the stereotype that a model has to be extremely skinny to the point of almost looking sick in order to model certain clothes. Healthy isn't considered being a one size fits all.

Make the change to feel good about yourself physically which will in turn help you to feel good emotionally. Quoting Elle Woods from Legally Blonde, "Exercise gives you endorphin's. Endorphin's make you happy."

Make today the day that taking care of yourself will be a priority, that way you can have the energy to give back to others and lead at your best.

Check out the Healthy Lifestyle Choices Pinterest board today!

The Power of the Pause Button - Part 1 of 3

Today's blog post is the first in a three-part series called The Power of the Pause Button where SOS Leadership Partner Amber Fogarty explores the art of thinking before we speak and why this is particularly important for those who lead.

Leaders need to be passionately obsessed with communication. It's one of the keys to successful leadership. Over time I've become convinced that leaders have to learn the power of the pause button. What's the pause button, you ask? It's an internal button we all possess, and it gives us the time we need to think before we speak.

Think back to a time when your mouth got you in trouble. Maybe it was your quick wit or sharp temper. Perhaps someone said something hurtful to you, and your immediate response was one of retaliation. We've all been there, but some of us go there more than others. Ask yourself honestly: How would my leadership improve if I pushed my pause button more often?

If we're honest with ourselves, most of us want to live a life with no regrets. Choosing our words more carefully will go a long way in helping us to avoid saying words we wish we could take back. After all, isn't pushing your pause button far less painful than removing your foot from your mouth?

In the comments section, share your strategies for thinking before you speak. What "pause button" strategies work for you?

Come back next Wednesday and the following Wednesday to read the two remaining two posts in this three-part series!

Lead Like Dad

SOS Leadership is a family business. It is a business that I started with the greatest leader I have ever known, my dad Bill Moyer. There are so many examples of leadership that I could talk about pertaining to my dad, but something that happened recently really stands out.

A couple weeks ago, my wife and I were going through some boxes of things from when I was a kid. We found old papers and some very great works of art. We found old report cards, which made my wife question my intelligence. There was one constant in our findings. We found at least 50 notes to me from my dad.

When I was a kid, my dad traveled a lot for work. Every time he would go away, he would leave me a note under my pillow. It was always so much fun reading those notes before I went to bed. It was like he was still there with me even though he was out of town. The notes were always simple, but they were always just what I needed. They always encouraged me. And they always ended with "I love you" and "I am proud of you," which is something not enough fathers say to their kids.

One of the most interesting thoughts that came to me in finding all of these old notes is realizing the amount of time my dad traveled for work. Anyone that has spoken in 36 countries and 49 states obviously would have been gone a lot, but I never really realized he was gone that much. Seeing all the notes makes it obvious that he was gone a lot, but even with that he never missed any major event in my life. Work was always a priority for him, but it was never his number one priority. That is something I have learned from him and something I will be sure to remember when I start a family.

Our parents should be the most important leaders in our lives. My parents understood that and really stepped up. My dad understood his responsibilities as a leader and even as he climbed the ladder in the business world, he always was present as a father, even when he was not actually around. I am so thankful for him and his leadership. He is my hero, and I hope I can Lead Like Dad!

The Road Ahead

Sara Palacios is a graduate of the University of Texas at Austin with a major in Advertising and a minor in English Literature. It was during her time in college that she really fell in love with the written word and ventured into writing her own stories. In addition to writing, Sara spends a majority of her time reading the works of other authors.  

I can intimately recall the day that I decided that I wanted to have it all—the day before my twenty-seventh birthday. It was a little after 4am on a drizzly winter morning when I made my way to my computer to work on the book I was writing. The early morning wake up calls had become the norm and although I would have loved some more sleep, I had a dream that wouldn't let me. For as long as I can remember I wanted to be a writer, and for years it was normal to wake up in the wee hours of the morning, write, then go work a job that paid the bills. Yes, I was exhausted most of the time but I was relentless. So, I trucked through the days, put a smile on my face and happily put in my time.

One dreary morning changed my life as I know it. That morning, I found myself working on a scene that was particularly difficult. I had rewritten it a dozen times before and found myself tripping over words and jumbling sentences—nothing was working right. I was frustrated, beat, and quite honestly, defeated and I began to wonder what I was doing and why I was wasting so much time doing something that may never amount to anything. Insecurity and self-doubt are never a good thing when combined and sadly, on that morning, I felt like there was nothing else I could do. I felt worthless, so I gave up. 

I spent the day telling myself I made the right call and that I should do something more practical and definite, and just when I felt like I was good and convinced, a little baby foot kicked inside of me for the first time. My heart flooded with love and in that moment, everything I had been telling myself all day came crashing down. Instead of fighting it, I took it as a sign and embraced it. Deep down, I knew I was better than to give up on my dreams and in my darkest moment, I believed in myself and I kept fighting.

A year and a half later, my debut novel, Love In Translation, was published. I've sold dozens of copies and so far, all of the feedback has been very positive—which is a relief as a writer. I am very proud of my book but more importantly, I am proud of myself. The road has been long and tedious, but at the end of the day, I can always look back and say, I did it!

Today, I continue to write and pursue my dreams as an author. Sure, there have been trying moments, but I often look back at that night and remind myself that I can do it, and more importantly, that I will. I want my son to know that he too can do anything that he dreams of, even if it is only one baby step at a time, because ultimately, we create our own destiny. Next time I feel doubt creeping in, I will push myself a little harder. Limits, like fears, are often just an illusion and with a little faith, and some dedication, anything is possible.

Connect with Sara on Twitter and check out her book, Love in Translation.

Today's post is the tenth of the SOS Leadership Austin Leading Ladies' Blog Series. The purpose of this blog series is to share the stories and insights of women who are answering the call to leadership in their lives. Come back each Friday to read more!

Ashley Moyer's Leadership Journey – The Concordia MBA (Part 8)

Today, Ashley Moyer shares her thoughts about what her journey has been like on her path to receive her Concordia MBA. Ashley is the Director of Institutional Advancement at San Juan Diego Catholic High School. San Juan Diego is "The School That Works!" Learn more at http://www.sjdchs.org/

It’s official! As of May, I am halfway to achieving my MBA through Concordia University Texas. There has been much self discovery through classes like Leadership-Self, Ethics, and Leadership-Others. I have learned how to be a better decision maker in classes like Critical Thinking and Organizational Change.  I have even expanded my knowledge in challenging courses like Economics, Accounting and Finance. Despite having so many excellent classes and knowledgeable instructors, the greatest lesson I have learned can’t be found in one of my textbooks—the only constant in life is change.

When I began the Concordia MBA, I was also working at Concordia as an Admissions Counselor. After struggling to complete my application (as I detailed in my first post), I had decided through the two-year program I would continue my work as an Admissions Counselor. There’s something cool about work and school being one in the same. However, as new opportunities came to me, I found myself taking a new position in the middle of my second semester. My instructors and 9 other classmates told me to rethink a career change in the middle of an MBA program, some even called me crazy. In the past 18 months I had moved to Austin, gotten married and started my MBA—why not take a career change?

Fast forward two semesters and now six of the ten students I started the program with are in new positions. The only constant in life is change. One student took a position in California to be closer to his parents who were growing older and needing more assistance. Another advanced a semester in order to ensure a promotion at work and sit for the CPA exam later this year. The only constant in life is change. I think I can speak for my class when I say I don’t think any of us predicted so many changes for the 10 of us when we embarked on this journey together in April of 2011.

There’s something to be said about a leader’s ability to adapt. Just when you think you have it all figured out, there will always be something that changes your perspective or rearranges your priorities for that moment.  A leader shows character by rolling with the punches and carrying out a new strategy or vision. We even learned in our Strategy class that most businesses’ strategic plans are out of date within three years! Through it all, it’s important to remember the only constant in life is change. As we continue on to the second year of the program, I’m excited to see what changes the next year will bring to us all. 

Take a Chance, Seize Opportunities

“Progress occurs when courageous, skillful leaders seize the opportunity to change things for the better.”-Harry S. Truman

There are so many people that are scared of the one thing that can bring them hope, scared of the one thing that can bring them a better future, which is opportunity. As Harry Truman says, “Courageous, skillful leaders seize the opportunity,” and for some, being courageous doesn't come so easy.

Mostly everything good in my life has come out of seizing the opportunity at random moments. From my very first marketing internship to even my marriage, these have really been the moments where I've been the most thankful that I took a chance on something that I wasn't completely sure about, and I’m so glad I did.

Being courageous isn't something that you can learn, it is something, however, that gets easier over time. You just have to do it, you have to take the chance, and you have to be willing to take the risk. You aren't always going to get satisfaction out of the risks you take, but you will gain a learning experience. Who you become after you rise up out of a failure is part of what defines you as a person, and part of how you will approach future experiences throughout the rest of your life.

I've heard some people say that you have to live a life without regret, and while I haven’t always been a big proponent of this saying, I finally understand the true meaning of it. Living a life without regret includes not regretting any choice you made, including the choices that may have led to a mistake or may have led you down a dark path. If you learned from those mistakes, then there’s no reason to regret it, because you learned from it, and it ultimately led to a better life.

Just take the chance, and take the risk, and be willing at any given moment to seize the opportunity; it can lead to an even greater world of possibilities.  

SOS Gr8 Women Leaders on What Makes a Gr8 Leader

We recently launched our fourth group of the SOS Gr8 Women Leaders Program with eight incredible women who are committed to developing their leadership skills and challenging themselves to learn, grow, network, and achieve at a higher level. This group of Gr8 Women Leaders are already amazing leaders, but they recognize that they can grow and become even better. They have a strong desire to learn, and they are willing to invest their valuable time, energy, and money to gain an edge and become the best version of themselves.

During our kick-off session, we had a thought-provoking discussion about what makes a leader great. Here's a list of qualities the SOS Gr8 Women came up with...

A Gr8 Leader...

• Inspires others
• Uplifts others & delivers uplifting messages
• Continues to learn
• Is consistent
• Is trustworthy and has the ability to trust others
• Is genuine
• Is honest
• Takes action and sets goals
• Mentors
• Is a communicator and provides and receives feedback
• Is worthy of respect
• Has moral integrity
• Has vision
• Models leadership behavior
• Sets organizational culture
• Is responsive
• Leads by example
• Knows limitations and delegates
• Moves towards success

This is a comprehensive list from a group of truly great leaders. What else would you add to this list? Share your ideas in the comments below. I'm looking forward to hearing your thoughts. 

One of the foundational beliefs that SOS Partner, Amber Fogarty has about leadership is that there is no cookie cutter approach. One size doesn't fit all. Each and every one of us has our own unique leadership style; perhaps your style includes many of the qualities listed above, but maybe it doesn't. The important thing is to focus on understanding who you are, what leadership means to you, and how YOU want to lead. That's what the SOS Gr8 Women Leaders Program is all about. Our goal is to grow with you...we exist to empower and equip leaders (THAT'S YOU) to make a difference!

Check out this short video to learn more about the SOS Gr8 Women Leaders Program!

The Power of Quotes

Marisa Cuellar is a communication major at St. Edward’s University and will be graduating in May of 2014. She is currently SOS Leadership’s PR intern and also works full-time at a law firm in downtown Austin.

Everyone seems to quote quotes, including myself, but it never occurred to me until recently the effect that some can have on you, if you actually act on them.One of my favorite quotes that I've acted upon is by Eleanor Roosevelt. All of Eleanor’s quotes are very popular and people use them every day, but it wasn't until I started applying my professional life to this quote that things really started to take off.

Much of my journey until now has revolved around this quote. I would have never had the confidence that I had today had it not been for my experiences and looking my fears straight in the face. My goal of graduating didn't even seem possible, only a couple of years ago, and now I am only two short semesters away from obtaining my bachelor’s degree.

After applying this quote, the ability to be a leader for myself finally took off, and my confidence skyrocketed! Looking my fears in the face, which were for me applying to St. Edward’s and internships, opened so many doors for me professionally and also socially. Because of overcoming all of those fears I have amazing new people in my life that I never see going away, and an amazing internship that has forced me (in a good way) to really reflect upon myself and develop myself as a person even more.

I look at all the obstacles that it took to get me to where I am now, and I think to myself, I lived through my worst fears, and I was able to overcome everything that stood in my way.

I strongly believe that this quote can be applied to anyone facing any uncertain circumstance; whether it is a relationship, professional life, school, family, just know that everything that happens in your life is for a greater reason, for the betterment of you, and it is only by the experience and everyday obstacles, that you face that will ultimately make you a stronger person. It is only by the experience and everyday obstacles that you face that you will learn and become the person you are destined to become.

Quotes are meant to be memorable for a reason. They are meant to be memorable so in times of need you can see the good out of a situation, they are meant to be another means of hope.

Connect with Marisa on Facebook and Twitter.

Today's post is the ninth of the SOS Leadership Austin Leading Ladies' Blog Series. The purpose of this blog series is to share the stories and insights of women who are answering the call to leadership in their lives. Come back each Friday to read more!

My Favorite Leadership Quotes

Today, I wanted to share 10 of my favorite leadership quotes. I look to these for inspiration and guidance on the path of my leadership journey. They are my personal affirmations!

• "Leadership is lifting a person’s vision to high sights, the raising of a person’s performance to a higher standard, the building of a personality beyond its normal limitations." — Peter Drucker

• "A leader is a dealer in hope." — Napoleon Bonaparte

• "A leader's growth determines the growth of the followers. When you, the leader stop growing, your followers will stop growing as well." — Billy Moyer

• "The key to successful leadership today is influence, not authority." — Ken Blanchard

• "Do what you feel in your heart to be right–for you’ll be criticized anyway." — Eleanor Roosevelt

• “Investing in yourself is the most valuable investment you will ever make. You will grow as a leader, which will in turn allow you to empower other leaders and equip them to lead at a higher level.” — Amber Fogarty

• "If you would not be forgotten, as soon as you are dead and rotten, either write things worth reading, or do things worth the writing." — Benjamin Franklin

• "Leadership and learning are indispensable to each other." — John F. Kennedy

• "You don't think your way to new behavior; you behave your way to new thinking."  — Bill Moyer

• “Whatever you vividly imagine, ardently desire, sincerely believe, and enthusiastically act upon, must inevitably come to pass.” — Paul J. Meyer

I would love for you to comment and share your favorite leadership quotes with me!

Attitude is Everything

I consider myself to be a lifelong learner. I am committed to my own personal growth and am always trying to learn more about the things I am passionate about. One of the important lessons I have learned in my life is that a positive attitude is imperative to not just success, but more importantly to living a significant life.

This week I was reminded of that important lesson. A friend of mine, Kate Voth passed away on Saturday after a long battle with cancer. She was only 27-years-old. Reflecting on this tragedy, I was reminded about the positive attitude Kate always had even though she had to deal with this terrible disease for years. I was reminded again about Kate's attitude at her memorial service. So many people talked about this. Even in her suffering Kate remained positive, which I believe will live on for a long time in the people she touched.

Kate's story got me thinking about a quote that I have always loved: "We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand." Kate accepted the cards she was dealt and she LIVED her life. She remained positive through things that are unimaginable to most people.

And yet how do most of us live our lives? We focus on the negative. We constantly tear people down through our words. We become "yeabuts" to the people close to us. We become "yeabuts" to ourselves. We know we cannot change our cards, but we try anyway, rather
than simply changing the way we play. This is not the way to live a significant life.

As I mentioned, I am committed to being a lifelong learner. Every now and then though, I re-learn a lesson that I have already learned. This week, I have re-learned the importance of a positive attitude. I have learned from Kate that I must keep moving forward with that positive attitude, and not let how the cards are dealt bring me down. Attitude really is everything. A positive attitude will change your life and so many others lives as well. Kate proved that.

This blog is dedicated to Kate Voth, who lived an amazing life of positivity. Her attitude, spirit, and leadership inspired many. Please keep Kate's family and friends in your prayers through this difficult time.