Perspective Shifts

For the fourth consecutive year the SOS Leadership team is continuing its tradition of blogging about gratitude and what matters most during the week of Thanksgiving. Today Amber Fogarty continues the series with a post about not taking the gifts in our lives for granted. To read the first blog in the series, click here. Stay tuned throughout the week for more perspectives on gratitude. 

It's almost baffling how easy it can be to take what we have for granted. From the simple pleasures in life to the people who provide us unconditional love, we often focus on what we don't have, rather than being grateful for the gifts that are right in front of us.

When I think about my day yesterday, just one day of my life, I am in awe of the blessings in my life. In just one day, I experienced my son's Thanksgiving Play at school, a Lunch & Learn with a group of incredible leaders who are all actively working to develop themselves, coffee with a mentor and friend who I admire and respect, a Board Meeting for a nonprofit that serves the needs of the most vulnerable on a daily basis, a delicious meal made by my loving husband, cuddles and butterfly kisses with my kids, a hot cup of tea...How easy it can be to get caught up in the whirlwind that is our lives and miss the day-to-day joy that is right in front of us. 

How many days do you lay in bed at night focusing on what didn't get done that day rather than what you accomplished? For most of my life, that's been my default mode...no matter how productive I was, no matter how many things got checked off my to do list, it was never enough. A perspective shift was needed. I've been in the midst of that perspective shift for many years. It's not always easy, and that default mode still takes over from time to time, particularly when I'm stressed or overwhelmed by my to do list.

I am grateful for perspective shifts. I am so thankful that those perspective shifts come at exactly the right time, when I most need to be reminded of what matters most. 

Last night when I was tucking my almost four year old son in, he said, "Mommy, I have to tell you something." As I came closer to his sweet face, he wrapped his arms around me and said, "I want to be just like you." As the tears welled up in my eyes, I thought about the awesome responsibility of leadership. "People become like their leader." I say this often when I'm speaking and facilitating workshops, and I know it's true. Yet, last night those words brought about a perspective shift, as I thought about what I'm teaching my kids about gratitude. I know that my leadership matters. What I do and say makes a difference. I'm grateful for that reminder; it came at exactly the right time.

Reflection Questions:

• What perspective shifting moments have you experienced recently? 
• How will you make thanksgiving a way of life and not just a one-day turkey and stuffing celebration? 

Let's not take the gifts in our lives for granted - a roof over our heads, food on the table, and most importantly, the unconditional love that we experience from the people in our lives who matter most. They are the gifts that keep on giving. 

Texas Conference for Women: Redefining Bravery

Today's blog post by Courtney Clark is the second in our series about the 2013 Texas Conference for Women. Check out the first blog in the series here. Come back next Tuesday to read the next blog in this series!

Courtney Clark is a cancer survivor, brain aneurysm survivor, and motivational speaker. She is currently researching the role of philanthropy and volunteerism in helping people heal from traumatic life events. Courtney is a nonprofit entrepreneur and development professional proficient in board training, fundraising, outreach, and community relations.

I have to confess.  At last week’s Texas Conference for Women, I was excited about the inspirational speakers.  I was looking forward to networking with like-minded women.  I was prepared to feel professionally rejuvenated.  But there was one session I was planning to take “off.” 

Amidst all the personal and professional growth opportunities, I felt a little guilty for going to The Bloggess’s breakout session.  Like I was having cotton candy in the middle of dinner.  But I’m a huge Bloggess fan, I read her blog almost every night, and there was no way I was going to miss seeing her live and in person, even if it meant I had to prioritize her over other great (probably more mainstream) sessions.

I skipped the ultra-long line for the bathroom (props to the woman who admitted on Twitter that she thought to use the men’s room, which was OBVIOUSLY empty at the Texas Conference for Women!  Duh!) and raced to the room to get a front row seat for the Bloggess, ready to laugh and be silly with one of my favorite blog authors. 

I did laugh.  I definitely did.  But Jenny Lawson, the Bloggess, also made me think about bravery in a new way.  You see, Jenny struggles with depression, generalized anxiety disorder, and social anxiety.  In fact, before the session, she sat in a quiet, tucked away corner in the back of the room to get her anxiety under control, yet she was gracious whenever some rabid fan (it was NOT me, I swear!) came sneaking up to capture a secret iPhone picture. 

Jenny’s bravery shone through as she talked about carrying her daughter to term after several scary miscarriages.  It was obvious when she told us about getting her first blog deal, then book deal.  She was the very definition of bravery by even getting up and speaking in front of a standing room only crowd.

But I started thinking about what bravery really means when she admitted how hard it was the first time she was honest on her blog.  When she said the words “I have mental illness.”  When she admitted to not always being, in her words, “furiously happy.”  How often do we – all of us – pretend that our lives are perfect?  Heck, that’s practically the PURPOSE of social media!  “Look at how sweet my boyfriend is, he got me flowers!” “Look at how adorable my kids are, smiling in the pumpkin patch!” “I just got a promotion!” “I just cooked this delicious meal!”  It’s not necessarily bad that we trumpet our success on social media.  But it makes us hesitant to share our failures and admit to our shadows.

Bloggess Jenny Lawson is hysterically funny.  But she is unashamedly, unabashedly real.  And that’s the honest truth. 

Get Rid of Excess and Be Thankful!

For the fourth consecutive year the SOS Leadership team is continuing its tradition of blogging about gratitude and what matters most during the week of Thanksgiving. Today Billy Moyer kicks off the series. Stay tuned throughout the week for more perspectives on gratitude. 

This is the season for Thanksgiving and it is time to take a step back and think about all of the blessings we have in our lives. It is a time to be grateful for the food we eat, the roof over our head, and the people who love us and are always there. This is a time when we "give thanks to the Lord with all our heart."

Many times we are not thankful for those things. We instead focus on all that we don't have. Isn't it crazy that in this country we spend one day giving thanks and then the next day we go crazy and trample over other people just to get a good deal at a store? We start making lists of all the things we want people to get us, but what on those lists do we actually need? Yes, this is a time of thanksgiving. But it also has become a time of excess.

This Thursday I challenge you to do things a little differently. Don't get upset because someone didn't make your favorite kind of yams or in my case my mom’s homemade pumpkin pie. Don't stuff yourself so much that you have to put on elastic pants. Don't get into arguments over pointless things with your family and friends. On Friday, if you decide to go shopping in all that craziness, treat people with respect. Don't be upset if you don't get what you want because you already have everything that you need.

Spend this Thanksgiving actually giving thanks for What Matters Most. Spend time with the people that matter most. And think about all those who are less fortunate than you. All those people who would give anything to walk in your shoes. Let's get rid of the excess this year when it comes to "things." We should only have excess in love, friendship, faith, service, and gratitude. Everything else is not What Matters Most.

The late great missionary Jim Elliot said: “Give up what you cannot keep, to gain what you cannot lose.” That is what I will think about this Thanksgiving and for the rest of this year. Will you join me? Together we can take our excess, spread it out, and make a difference!

Leading Through School Spirit

Jessica Liss is a senior at St. Edward's Unviersity and captain of the university's cheerleading team. She will be graduating with honors in May of 2014. 

My leadership role at my university is my position as captain of the St. Edward’s University Cheerleading team. When I first came to college, I was a young girl who was excited, but scared and unsure. I wasn't sure how the next four years would turn out, and I surely wasn't as confident and mature as I am now. 

My former cheerleading captain, Jane Marie Agnew, was an amazingly talented athlete and student. She had a 4.0 GPA, was involved in every student organization, and to top it all off, was beautiful both on the inside and out. As a young student, I knew that I wanted to strive to be just like Jane Marie. I am now the captain of this amazing squad and have worked hard to serve as a role model for my younger teammates that Jane Marie was for me.

While on the cheerleading team, I have spent every day striving to effectively lead the St. Edward’s community through my leadership position. Whether I be cheering-on our athletic teams, participating in community service, leading my team in competition, or promoting the university’s events and mission, I make it my goal to represent this school to the best of my ability. Maintaining a high GPA, and exemplifying academic excellence is a way that I lead my team and student body, as well. When people see me wearing the SEU letters on my uniform, I want them to not only see a talented athlete, but a well-rounded and successful individual in all areas of student life. 

Each week, I put in about 15 hours of planning, running, and participating in practices, events, and activities that serve one purpose: to serve the St. Edward’s community in promoting school spirit and involvement. This involvement goes beyond athletic games and events. The promotion of involvement in the community, both inside our school walls and out, is a day-to-day job that I gladly take on. This involvement is helping me grow as a leader.

Four years later, I look back on the most amazing college experience one could have. In May, I am graduating in the top 10 percent of my class, with honors and the confidence to take on my world. 

Today's post is the second post in the Student's Who Lead blog series.

Failure Is Not An Option (The Concordia MBA Part 12)

I am 15 months into the Concordia MBA program and if you asked me how I am feeling my answer would be, exhausted! I keep asking myself over and over again: Why did you make this decision? Why at this time when your life is already so busy?

Last week I began my second leadership class in the program. As an intro to the class all the student’s were asked to give a brief three minute presentation about themselves. Part of this presentation needed to include our Strengths Finder strengths. It has been about nine months since the last time I reviewed my report. Reading about what makes me who I am could not have come at a better time.

As I have mentioned in a previous blog my number one strength is achiever. It’s not that I forgot that I like to succeed and overcome obstacles, but it was refreshing to get a reminder of what makes me, me! As I stood up in front of the class, I talked about my journey to get to where I am today. I was surprised at how much I have grown in 15 months. The exhaustion, although overwhelming at times, is worth it me! (Learn more about this in my last blog called "Is It Worth It to Me?" http://www.sosleadershipblog.com/2013/10/is-it-worth-it-to-me.html)

Failure is not an option in my eyes. Quitting is also not an option. I will overcome the exhaustion and I will achieve this goal. It is that important to me. When asked by the professor what am I grateful for my family came to mind. I could not do this without the support of my wife, close friends, and the help of my cohort family. I will continue on this journey and by August 2014 I will be writing about my graduation day. What a victorious day it will be! But of course I know it won't be the end of my journey. It is just another step forward.

Texas Conference for Women: Best Ideas & Words of Wisdom

Yesterday I had the incredible opportunity to attend the Texas Conference for Women for the second year in a row. Spending a day among 5,000+ other women leaders is an amazing experience! A few months ago, I wrote this blog that was featured on the Texas Conference for Women site about how profound and powerful my first time at the conference was last year and why I HAD to return this year. Without a doubt, this conference is now an annual tradition. 

This year I was honored to be part of the Texas Conference for Women Social Media Street Team and to have SOS Leadership's Austin Leading Ladies, a movement of women leaders I launched in January of this year, participating in the conference as an official Supporting Organization. Sharing this day with so many women I know, respect, and love made this year's conference unforgettable. The theme of this year's conference was The Power of Possibilities: Define Your Own Success.

Some of the Austin Leading Ladies enjoying lunch together

Here are the best ideas I took away from the conference keynotes (more to come about my breakout session takeaways in a future post):

Words of Wisdom from Verna Myers, Nationally Recognized Diversity Expert & Author:

• Leaders must embrace the power of difference. 
• Inclusion is about cultivating. Diversity is about counting. 
• Diversity is about being invited to the party. Inclusion is being asked to dance.
• We've been taught that difference is a problem! In order to move diversity forward, we have to notice who isn't included, whose voices aren't being heard.

Words of Wisdom from Bob Beaudine, CEO of Eastman & Beaudine & Author:

• What if the people in your life were put there strategically to help you get where you want to go?
• You hold the key to your friends and family's goals and dreams. Are you helping them to achieve what they desire?
• God gave you YOUR WHO. You have a community of friends who will come to your aid in a heartbeat. 
• Remember who you are and whose you are. You are a daughter of the King.

Words of Wisdom from Esmerelda Santiago, Award Winning Author & Filmmaker:

• I can make my life a work of art by creating myself.
• We make history happen by creating who we are.
• This is the beginning of your creation of the rest of your life.

Words of Wisdom from Jenny Lawson, aka The Bloggess & Author:

• If you are pretending your life is perfect on social media, you are missing the moments to be brave and real.
• Do things every day that make you furiously happy!

Words of Wisdom from Sallie Krawcheck, One of the Most Respected Voices on Wall Street:

• Holding yourself to standards of perfection is exhausting.
• If it comes down to your ethics or your job, choose your ethics. You can always find another job.
• Your network matters. Research shows that women don't have nearly the networks that men do.
• Never underestimate the power of gratitude. And a big glass of wine or two!

Words of Wisdom from Leymah Gbowee, Nobel Peace Laureate:

• It is possible.
• Pain and anger drive me. Results and joy keep me running!
• Until you step out of your comfort zone, you will never really see or hear.
• The power of possibilities is the power that changes the world. Do you believe in your own power? Do you know what's possible for you?
• Am I too afraid to dream out loud? Am I working today to change tomorrow?
• The power of possibility always makes you look like a fool. The world is waiting for someone in this room. The world is waiting for you to change the tide. The sensible things don't make sense anymore. It's the crazy things that will make the world upright.

Words of Wisdom from Rachael Ray, Celebrity Chef, Author, & Businesswoman:

• (Had to share how she LOVED ON my home sweet home): Austin is a utopian city. It’s a great cultural example of what it means to be an American.
• Always be growing, but at the same time, always be true to your brand.
• Anyone can be a Rachael Ray.

What a powerful, thought-provoking, laughter-inducing, tear-jerking, inspiring, whirlwind of a day...I can't wait to do it again next year!

Stay tuned in the weeks to come for additional perspectives from other Austin Leading Ladies about what they learned at the 2013 Texas Conference for Women! And if you're in Austin, mark your calendar to join us for our final Austin Leading Ladies event of 2013 on December 12th from 6-8pm at Opal Divine's Penn Field. Get all of the details & RSVP here!

What Makes a Leader Great by the SOS Gr8 Women Leaders

Last week, we launched our sixth group of the SOS Gr8 Women Leaders Program with nine phenomenal women who are committed to developing their leadership skills and challenging themselves to learn, grow, network, and achieve at a higher level. This group of Gr8 Women Leaders are already amazing leaders, but they recognize that they can grow and become even better. They have a strong desire to learn, and they are willing to invest their valuable time, energy, and money to gain an edge and become the best version of themselves.

During our kick-off session, we had a thought-provoking discussion about what makes a leader great. Here's a list of qualities the SOS Gr8 Women came up with...

A Gr8 Leader...

• Is a good listener and skilled communicator.
• Has confidence.
• Lives with integrity.
• Is effective.
• Encourages others and helps them to see what they're capable of accomplishing.
• Is thoughtful.
• Has vision.
• Is decisive.
• Is willing to recognize and acknowledge her failures and weaknesses. 
• Is emotionally intelligent.
• Has passion. 
• Is flexible.
• Shows humility.
• Is respected and respectful.
• Has strong motivation and drive to learn, grow, and achieve.
• Earns the trust of others.
• Is credible.
• Relates well to others.
• Is courageous.
• Shows empathy.
• Trusts her intuition.
• Lives ethically.
• Is genuine.
• Has a sense of humor.
• Is realistic.
• Focuses on her goals.
• Is accountable.
• Allows herself to be vulnerable.
• Is authentic.
• Builds her expertise.
• Is bold.

This is a comprehensive list from a group of truly remarkable leaders. What else would you add to this list? Share your ideas in the comments below. I'm looking forward to hearing your thoughts. 

One of the foundational beliefs that SOS Partner, Amber Fogarty, has about leadership is that there is no cookie cutter approach. One size doesn't fit all; it never has and it never will. Each and every one of you has your own unique leadership style. In order to grow as a leader, you have to focus on understanding who you are, what leadership means to you, and how YOU want to lead in a way that is uniquely yours. That's what the SOS Gr8 Women Leaders Program is all about. Our goal is to grow with you...we exist to empower and equip leaders (THAT'S YOU) to make a difference!

Check out this short video to learn more about the SOS Gr8 Women Leaders Program! Our next group will begin in February 2014.  If you're interested in learning more, email us!

Leadership From A Student's Persepective

As I near my graduation day, (yes I'm literally counting down the days and have a terrible case of senioritis), I have come to yet another moment of reflection about all of the amazing opportunities that have come my way since beginning at St. Edward's University. To go from not having any opportunities to opportunities knocking at my door left and right is such an amazing accomplishment for me, and I wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for the support of my family, husband, and SOS family. 

Recently, I was offered a position at San Juan Diego Catholic High School as their communications coordinator, and for the past month and a half I have been working to get this school's name out in the community, as well as meeting some very bright and ambitious young students. To see the opportunity this school has given these students is so humbling and encouraging; it's inspiring to know that there are people so young that want to make such a difference in the world. 

Part of my job is to interview the seniors of SJDCHS, and find out what their plans are after they graduate from high school. Every single student that I have interviewed so far has been certain about what he or she wants to do after they graduate. To see that at such a young age is very impressive. It is comforting to know that these ambitious young men and women will be the leaders of tomorrow, in all facets of life. 

My college experience, as well as interviewing these young students, has led me to wonder how young people (specifically new college students) view leadership, and what made them want to go to college. What made them lead themselves down new paths and experiences in life, and what have their leadership journeys been like? 

The new series by SOS Leadership, Students Who Lead, will feature college aged students, writing about their leadership journeys, and the successes and trials they've been through to get to where they are today. I believe this series will be humbling to all its readers, in that, it will remind them of the times they were trying to find their own path to leadership. 

Come back each Friday for a new Students Who Lead post.

6 Confidence Boosting Strategies for Leaders

When I ask people to list the characteristics of a phenomenal leader, confidence is almost always on the list. In my work with women leaders, I’ve discovered that this is one of our greatest challenges. Through our corporate clients, the SOS Gr8 Women Leaders Program, our year-long leadership development program for women, and Austin Leading Ladies, a movement of women leaders we’ve created, I’ve met hundreds of women leaders over the last few years. These women have varied in age, experience, and position, and yet the vast majority of them have shared their struggles with maintaining belief in themselves.

Some have described their confidence level as a series of peaks and valleys. They go through times when their confidence is strong and they recognize the impact of their leadership. But in the same month, the same week, and even sometimes in the same day, their confidence plummets for one reason or another, occasionally for no reason at all.

What is the solution to this leadership challenge? I believe leaders can boost confidence using a combination of the following strategies:

1. Strive to be a person of gratitude. Show your gratitude daily to those who have contributed to your personal and professional growth.
2. Create a file of all of the praise/compliments you’ve received and spend some time perusing it when you need a concrete reminder about how much your leadership matters.
3. Surround yourself with exceptional leaders, mentors, and coaches who remind you often of your accomplishments and help you to see your progress even when you aren’t able to see it. When your confidence is wavering, connect with a leader who believes in you and talk through it with him or her. 
4. Have a couple of your Raving Fans on speed dial, and reach out when you need a pick-me-up. 
5. Keep a running list of the goals you’ve accomplished and read through it often. 
6. At the end of each day, consciously focus on spending more time thinking about what you accomplished rather than what you didn’t. (NOTE: I recognize that this abundantly easier said than done, and it will take time to recondition yourself to think this way, particularly if you’re a perfectionist. Nevertheless, making this change to the way you think will have a measurable impact on your confidence level.) 

What other strategies work for you when you need a confidence boost?

I believe 100% that your leadership matters. You wouldn’t be reading this blog if you weren’t committed to leadership growth. It’s that simple. SOS Leadership is on a mission to get more leaders to OWN their leadership and its impact. This means believing at your core that your leadership makes a difference! Do you?

Leaders Measure Performance

Leaders recognize the importance of measuring performance because they understand this indisputable fact:

When performance is measured, performance improves.

This is true for measuring our own performance, as well as the performance of those we lead. It can be easier to focus on others, however, when perhaps what we most need is to take an honest look at our own performance and progress toward the goals that are most important to us. Leaders are committed to personal accountability, and having performance measurements in place is instrumental to our ability to hold ourselves accountable. 

Questions for Leaders to Consider:

• How are you measuring your own performance? 
• How could your performance improve if you measured it?
• What is holding you back from measuring your performance?
• Who can be part of holding you accountable for the goals that are most important to you?
• When will you get started with putting performance measurements in place for your top goals?