A leader is a dealer in hope

“A leader is a dealer in hope.” This is one of my all-time favorite quotes (courtesy of Napoleon Bonaparte). As we approach the beginning of a new year, many of us are thinking about new beginnings. If 2010 was a difficult year, we hope for a better 2011. If 2010 was filled with joy and great memories, we hope for continued good fortune in 2011.

Hope.

It can be such a powerful feeling. There is so much emotion associated with feeling hopeful.

Think about a time in your life when you were filled with hope, when you waited with great anticipation for an event, a moment, an opportunity. We hold on to these precious memories; in fact, these memories can bring us more hope. We look forward to creating more moments that bring us happiness and peace.

Now think about a time in your life when you felt hopeless. We’ve all been there. You feel as though you have nothing to look forward to; you’re unsure about where you are going. You struggle to understand your life’s purpose. There are so many significant life events that can bring about feelings of hopelessness: a serious illness, job loss, divorce, family stress, financial troubles, and death. And then there’s everyday life, which sometimes can overwhelm us to the point of feeling hopeless about the future. It’s true that there are many circumstances we can’t control or change, but we can always control how we respond to what happens in our lives.

Over the years, I’ve known some amazing people who have hope in spite of seemingly insurmountable struggles. In my years working with folks experiencing extreme poverty and homelessness, I’ve encountered some of the most hope-filled people I’ve ever met. Can you imagine being hopeful about your future when you have no roof over your head? Do you think you could choose to be happy if you couldn’t afford to feed your kids? Most of us can’t even begin to fathom what that would be like. When I reflect on my encounters with these angels, I now understand this simple truth: I thought I was there to serve them; instead, they served me. They taught me about hope. They taught me about resilience. They taught me what it means to have a positive attitude. They taught me that I always have a choice. I can always choose how I respond to life’s ups and downs. I can choose happiness. I can choose to be hopeful.

This time of year should be filled with hope. Regardless of the outcome of 2010, we can choose hope for the year to come. We can choose a positive attitude about who we will be and what we will accomplish in 2011. I have hope for you, and I pray that you give the gift of hope to yourself.

Today and every day, I choose to be a leader. I choose to be a dealer in hope.

New Year’s Resolutions versus Goals

We hear a lot about New Year’s Resolutions this time of year. People share with us all kinds of resolutions, but we tend to hear the same ones over and over again.

• I want to lose weight.
• I need to pay off debt, especially all of these holiday purchases.
• I want to take a family vacation.
• I need to save for retirement (or just save money in general).
• At work, I will increase my sales, improve my attitude, and/or get along with my coworkers.
• I will spend less time on Facebook.
• I will spend more quality time with my family.
• I will try to get more sleep at night.

Do you set New Year’s Resolutions? Why or why not? I’ve never been a resolution setter. Why? Because I grew up in the personal development industry. In fact, I started my first goal-setting program when I was six years old. Six years old? Yep, you can never start too young. I don't set resolutions because I have written goals. I have clearly identified what I want to achieve and have a plan that outlines the steps from where I am now to where I want to be.

The reason most New Year’s Resolutions don’t last long is because there is no plan to accomplish them. In fact, a lot of people don’t even bother writing them down. I guess if you know you’re going to abandon the resolutions in a month or two anyway, what’s the point?

My suggestion is to ditch the New Year’s Resolutions this year. Set goals instead. I’m not talking about ideas in your head about what you want to accomplish. I’m talking about written goals, complete with action steps and deadlines. As Paul J. Meyer said, “Writing crystallizes thought and thought produces action.” When you start to put your goals on paper, you give yourself an opportunity to reflect more deeply about what you want and why you want it. In our Protecting Goals program, we’re reminded that “Without a deadline, a goal is not a goal.” I would add that without a deadline, we never start working toward achievement.

If you need assistance with the goal-setting process, SOS Leadership can help! We can take you through our Protecting Goals program, either in a group setting if you’re in the Austin area or individually through one-on-one coaching. If you’re interested, visit our web site to learn more and contact us today.

I’ll close by encouraging you again to schedule some time to reflect on 2010. Think about what you accomplished this year. What brought you the most joy this year? How were you challenged? What did you learn this year?

Now visualize 2011. What will it take to make 2011 your best year ever? How will your life be better if you achieve the goals that matter most to you? What relationships will you commit to strengthening during this new year? Who will you forgive? How will you hold yourself accountable for being the person you long to be?

Special blessings from all of us at SOS Leadership as Christmas approaches!

Leadership Lessons from Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

It’s the most wonderful time of the year! One of my favorite things about the month of December, in addition to the Christmas lights and nativity scenes, is the movies that bring back wonderful memories from my childhood. My 3-year old daughter and I have already watched Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer at least five times since the special aired last week (gotta love DVRs!). I’ve literally seen this movie hundreds of times over the years, but last night it really got me thinking about the lessons we can learn from Rudolph’s journey.

Of course, there are the obvious lessons about practicing the Golden Rule and treating others as you would like to be treated. We see how teasing and bullying can make people feel alone. We witness a father who just wants his kid to be like all the other kids and a boss who wants his employee to conform even though he doesn’t enjoy his work of making toys. We see how empty people can feel when they’re not living within their life’s purpose. And then Rudolph saves Christmas because he’s unique, because he’s different. His shiny nose, which caused him to be an outcast, makes him a hero!

Who are the real leaders in this story? I see one leader who rises above the rest. Remember Rudolph’s doe friend, Clarice? Even after Rudolph is shunned by his coach and the other reindeer, she still wants him to walk her home. She is a true role model, unafraid to be seen with the “red-nosed reindeer” that everyone teases. She sees Rudolph’s potential long before he sees that potential within himself and certainly before Santa realizes that Rudolph is his key to saving Christmas! When Rudolph complains about how he’ll never fit in, she reminds him: “There’s always tomorrow for dreams to come true. Believe in your dreams, come what may.” After Rudolph runs away, she selflessly goes to find him with his parents.

Remember, leaders model the way. Clarice, with your soft, gentle nature, you showed us what it means to be a servant leader. You showed us the essence of empathy; you are an encourager and a true believer in the potential of others.

The other real leader in the story is Rudolph. Sure, he doesn’t start out as a leader. He runs away from home because he believes he’s a misfit. He then runs away from his misfit friends because he thinks he will do them more harm than good. But in the end, Rudolph shines (literally)! He returns home to face those who excluded him. He brings his family, his dear Clarice, and his misfit friends together. Then he’s offered the opportunity to save Christmas by leading the reindeer team through the terrible blizzard with his shiny nose, and he says yes! Think about it. He says yes to Santa, the man who said Rudolph would never make the sleigh team. When Santa utters those famous words, “Rudolph, with your nose so bright, won’t you guide my sleigh tonight?” he replies with humble conviction, “It would be an honor, sir.”

What’s more, Rudolph forgives Santa, his father, and everyone who made fun of him over the years. And most importantly, he honored his commitment to his homeless friends on the Island of Misfit Toys and led Santa to them so they could fulfill their dreams of having a home.

Thanks, Rudolph and Clarice! I’ve learned a lot from you over the years, and I hope to pass on what I’ve learned to my family, friends, blog readers, and clients. More importantly, I hope to be a leader who makes a difference.

Reflection Questions:

• How many times do we go along with the crowd rather than standing up for what we believe?
• How often do we have the opportunity to reach out to someone in their time of need and look the other way?
• How often do we run away when things don’t go our way?
• Who haven’t you forgiven?

December is a great month for reflection. Look back at this year. What was right? What was wrong? What was missing? Be honest. Give thanks for all that is right, and commit to making 2011 your best year ever!