Leadership Lessons From FRIENDS - "The Pilot Episode"

Today's Leadership Lessons From FRIENDS blog features guest writer Lauren Majkowski. Lauren graduated from The University of Texas at Arlington with a Bachelor of Arts in Psychology, and a minor in English. Recently, Lauren moved back to Texas from New York. In her free time she enjoys traveling, reading, and visiting friends and family outside of her hometown of Grapevine, TX.

Learning leadership lessons from the show “Friends” was an interesting concept, but after thinking about it I really have learned a lot. I moved to New York about two and a half years ago when I decided to venture out on my own. I wanted to prove to others,  and myself,  that I could make it. However, I knew I wouldn’t have been able to do it without the confidence I received from the most important leaders in my life, my family and friends. I took a leap of faith and went for it. I don’t regret one single second of it. I moved to New York with no job lined up and only the money I had saved from my previous job in Texas. I moved in with my brother and quickly learned that the money I had wouldn’t last long. I knew I needed to get a job as soon as possible. The first episode of friends gave me some insight on what I needed to do to succeed.

In the pilot episode of Friends everyone can learn a great lesson. That lesson is, independence. In this episode Rachel has run out on her wedding day and finds refuge with her friend Monica from high school. She then goes on to tell her father she doesn’t need his money to survive and that she will be living with Monica from then on. Later in the episode she tries to get a job and finds out that she is not qualified for anything. But, by the end of the episode she learns the true meaning of independence by cutting up her fathers credit cards, and finally getting a waitressing job at the coffee shop “Central Perk”.

Another characters story in this episode is that of Ross Geller. He had to come to terms with the fact that his ex-wife is moving in with her partner; which leaves him with an empty apartment. During this episode he mopes around as usual being down about his life. He finds help and comfort through his friends Joey and Chandler. They both help him put his new furniture together in his apartment since he was left with nothing after the divorce. With his life in shambles he still surges ahead to move on as an independent man.

Sometimes it is scary to go out on your own and conquer your fears, but in the end it is all worth it. Being an independent person is a quality we all have, but remember that it is never a sign of weakness to look to your friends, parents, or other leaders in your life for help. That is what they are there for.

I want to leave you with this question: What fears will you conquer in 2013?

Please check back with us in two weeks as our “Leadership Lessons from FRIENDS” blog series continues! To view all of the blogs from the Leadership Lessons from FRIENDS series, click here!

I Am A Leader: Thoughts on Leadership from Chuck Siegel

Welcome to the I Am A Leader blog series, featuring leaders who make a difference. Today's guest blogger is Chuck Siegel. Chuck lives in Waco, Texas with his wife Wrendy and youngest daughter, Marissa. Their oldest daughter, Kelsie, lives in Bryan, Texas where she attends community college. Chuck is the CEO and founder of two companies: Lionheart Assurance Solutions, LP (an employee benefits agency), and Rule Your Kingdom, LP (an Internet marketing company).

Keep in touch with Chuck via:
http://lionheartassurance.com
http://ruleyourkingdom.com

Hello, name is Chuck Siegel.

The most important leadership roles in my life right now are as an ambassador for my G-d, as a husband to my wife and father to my two daughters, and my leadership role as CEO of my two companies.

When our first daughter was born (Kelsie), that was probably the first time it dawned on me that I was a leader. As a young man, I remember that first time I held our new baby girl at the hospital. I remember thinking to myself, “Wow, I’m responsible for another human life!” It was time to grow up in a hurry, and being a father gave me no choice BUT to grow up.

In the years that followed, I discovered that leadership meant many things. It meant sacrificing what you may want at the time for the good of others. It meant considering the influence your words and actions have on others. It meant investing time in others to help them become something more than they could become on their own.

There is no better model for developing the character of leader (in my view) than to be a parent.

Of course, I’ve led teams of people over the years in my business, both large and small. What I’ve learned is that leading others begins first with cultivating a relationship with them to learn what is truly important to them. Unless you clearly understand the goals and aspirations of those you are to lead, you have no basis for leading them.

Those who have become the most productive members of my teams are those with whom I have developed the closest relationships, on purpose, and with whom I have the deepest mutual trust. These top performers know that they can call on me whenever they have a need, and I will do my very best to make helping them a priority. They know I’ll treat them with respect and keep their confidence no matter what information they divulge with me.

The role that brought about the most personal growth for me (and continues to do so) is my role as an ambassador for G-d to others that he leads in my path.

I don’t go looking for people to talk with about my relationship with G-d, but he will sometimes bring them to me. To my way of thinking, my highest responsibility is for my life to bring honor to him.

Each day, I have the opportunity to either lead others away from their relationship with G-d or inspire them to trust him more with my conduct in the little affairs of my life. I don’t see it as my job to evangelize others. Rather, I see my responsibility to make it known (when appropriate) that I walk with G-d, and then let my actions and decisions show what that means to me and, more importantly, who G-d is to me.

I want my legacy of my life to be that I brought glory to my G-d. My hope would be that others would see in me a man that walked with G-d and trusted him in everything.

A special thank you to Chuck Siegel for sharing his insights about leadership with us today! Stay tuned every Friday as the I Am A Leader blog series continues. Please share this blog post via Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn. Let's continue the conversation on Twitter using the #iamaLEADER hash tag! You can connect with SOS Leadership on Twitter here.

Check out all of the I Am A Leader blogs here!

The Best Things In Life Are Free

Many of the best known motivators in the world often share a similar message with their audience. “You can have anything you want in your life if you are willing to pay the price.” I have reflected on this thought for many years and in fact have used it many times in setting goals for my life. I have often asked myself what “paying the price” really means.

I used to think it meant out-working or out-studying everyone else. I thought it meant working longer hours, making one more call, working weekends, work, work, and more work. Does this method payoff? Absolutely! If your goal in life is to be the greatest worker in the world, then yes that method works. Like many other people, I bought into this lie of the "good life" and justified my actions by kidding myself into believing I was doing this for my family. The reality was I was doing it for myself. The exhilaration of the competition in business was intoxicating. Climbing that corporate ladder provided the same thrills as winning the Friday night football game in high school.

As you travel down the road of life though, significant events occur that change your perspective and your priorities. You discover two basic truths in life … “money doesn’t buy happiness” and “the best things in life are free.” What price would you pay to hold your newborn child in your arms for the first time? Or to experience the rapture of that first date with the love of your life? To see your aging and ailing parents young and vibrant for just one more day? To experience a gentle peace in your life that passes all understanding? You can’t buy any of these things and you can’t out-work someone else to get them. They are all part of the precious gift of life.

The most valuable thing you can ever give to your family is you and your time. What is most important in your life? Where is your focus? Do you give your family the best time of your life or only what is left over after a long day at work? A good friend of mine shared the wisdom of the ages with me just before he died from cancer at the way too young age of 40. He said, “If I would have known this was going to happen, I would have spent less time playing golf and more time playing with my kids.” He learned too late that the “best things in life are free.” What price are you really willing to pay?

Weekly Motivational Minute: "3 Obstacles to Every Goal You Set"

Every week, an SOS Leadership partner or friend shares a motivational minute about a different leadership topic. This week, Amber Fogarty shares with us the "3 Obstacles to Every Goal You Set."

Leading with Hope

Photo Credit: 
http://06880danwoog.com

This time of year is one of hope and anticipation. And yet for many there is unspeakable pain in the aftermath of a tragedy that we find hard to understand. Innocence was lost. Lives were cut abruptly short. We all stand in solidarity with the people of Newtown, as they mourn the children and teachers who are no longer with us. We pray with them and for them. And we vow to never forget their loved ones.

As leaders, we search for hope even in the midst of the unthinkable. When we look hard enough, we always find it. 

As Napoleon Bonaparte so eloquently said, 

"A Leader is a Dealer in Hope."

Hope is powerful. It helps us to see beyond our current reality, to believe that tomorrow will bring new possibilities and renewed strength. As leaders, we are called to bring hope to those who need it. At times we will walk with them, side by side, and other times, our hope will be what carries them.

Over the past few days there have been numerous hope-filled moments, and many of them have come directly from the victim's families. They have shown us strength and courage. At a time when we should be carrying them, they have carried an entire nation and restored our hope. They have bravely shared stories and introduced us to their loved ones. They have opened our hearts with stories of their beloved children, 6 and 7 year olds, who were incredible young leaders, filled with hope and already making a difference in the lives of those who loved them. They've told us of devoted teachers and administrators who heroically protected their students and paid the ultimate price. 

There are times in life when we aren't sure how to help. Clearly, this is one of those times. One simple way for each of us to help is to have hope. Stand up and be a leader who deals in hope. Commit to being a leader who restores hope, not just because a tragedy has occurred, but each and every day of your life.

Let us never forget. Let us never lose hope. 

Let us unite as leaders who are filled with hope and committed to bringing that hope to a world that is searching for it.

I Am A Leader: Thoughts on Leadership from Beth Hannon Penny

Welcome to the I Am A Leader blog series, featuring leaders who make a difference. Today's guest blogger is Beth Hannon Penny. Beth is an educator, activist, leader and learner. Her passion is helping at-risk youth actualize their potential through service, access to positive leadership, and workplace/life readiness training. She is the Program Manager for the GoodFutures Program with Goodwill Industries of Southern Arizona, a program dedicated to assisting formerly incarcerated youth through service-learning and skills training.

Keep in touch with Beth via:

Work website: http://www.goodwilltucson.org/goodfutures-program.html

Volunteer website: www.givingbacktoafrica.org

Personal Facebook Page: http://www.facebook.com/beth.hannon.96

“May you experience each day as a sacred gift woven around the heart of wonder.” John O’Donohue

Leaders stay curious. This is the defining characteristic that drives them; it is also the golden thread that weaves through their ability to impact others. Leaders look around them and see only open space, future opportunities, and ways to heal the fractures and cracks. They let others become their best selves, because they are never afraid to keep asking questions – the really tough questions. This continued curiosity brings about the sacred in a world of stagnancy, old ideas and blame.

“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I'll meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass the world is too full to talk about.” ― Rumi

I am a leader because I still cry myself to sleep some nights. I am a leader because the broken promises in our society cannot outnumber the ones I have left to keep – today and in the years of activism ahead. I am a leader because I refuse to believe there are two parts to any story. I dress every morning in a business casual outfit and a clear headdress of curiosity. We are leaders because we keep going when the political gridlock, religious shaming, and naysayer rhetoric clog the radio waves and block our networking in small communities.

When I was just 7 years old my dad put me in charge of stocking horse medicine on the shelves in his veterinary office. I looked down at my unformed chest and saw a blinking, neon light that read “LEADER.” Counting bottles, tallying, and changing tags - this request created my first rush, a type of high, leaving my heart fluttering and my mind racing. My first questions were - He trusts me enough to do this? What if I let him down? Why did Dad give me this amazing job? The shelf was small, dusted over from lack of use, and it was a pointless, unnecessary request. Dad did it only to keep me occupied and prevent me from asking the one-millionth “why” question of the day. I could tell you that I became a leader because someone put me “in charge,” but after years of reflection, I know I my metamorphosis occurred because I got curious in a brand new way.

I didn’t wonder, “How did the secretary stock this shelf before?” I started thinking about how many bottles I could fit in the small space. I took great care in figuring out how to catch the eye of the old farmer who might stop to shop on his ride home to the corn fields. Amidst it all I knew I had only 20 minutes to complete the task and I wanted to optimize every second. My questions targeted efficacy, creating a meaningful experience for the audience, and doing all I could in a short period of time.

In the world of working with at-risk youth, these same specific concerns are what have marked my career. The world is broken and there is no time to lose – 14 year old chicas (girls) struggle to become mothers too soon, homeless men chase away pain with drug and drink, little boys sell rock for their older cuz just so they can have “family” to belong to, and single moms chase away exhaustion to keep their child reading at the end of a long day. With all the pain, suffering, and lack of compassionate nurturing in the world, is it any wonder that life feels so broken? There is no room for inefficiency in service delivery to at-risk youth (or anyone). We have no time for programming that is irrelevant, culturally misguided, or at constant risk of being de-funded. Today’s community leaders stay curious because it is the only way to keep up with the game and bring about positive change.

One of the most important leadership roles for me started as a Special Education teacher with Teach for America in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. There, as a white, farm-raised, low to middle class female, I learned how to be in the minority. I learned the pain that comes from being an outsider and the anger that emerges when racism, lack of education, and fear collide in a small closet, turned classroom, in the heat of a Louisiana Bayou August. My first day helped me realize that I was the first and only white educator my 17 students had ever met, let alone spent time with. We stumbled together, that class and I, through tears, angry words, misunderstanding, and much of my own regret. I thought I could “change them” and help them see that book learning and big dreams would help lift them out of the poverty, aggression, and historical racism that plagues some neighborhoods today. In truth, I got knocked on my back side so many times that I finally realized I didn’t know it all. I was running with blinders on, trying to do so much so quickly that I wasn’t staying open to the opportunities at hand. So, in order to heal, and in the hopes of actually bringing about change, I got curious. I let them lead the way while I stood as a witness, not a savior, to their growth.

“Leaders don’t force people to follow – they invite them on a journey.” Charles S. Lauer

I want my legacy to be the questions that we ask together. I want the youth I work with to reform broken neighborhoods from within, using their own good ideas for prison reform, community policing, and public schooling to bring about change. I want my sisters and brothers in the United States to pause and ask, “What brings about my own good without doing harm for my global community?” I believe change is created when there is wonder bubbling up from our souls and out across our lips as we tip-toe quietly on our journey together. I believe leaders are those who will keep asking questions, even when answers aren’t apparent and time is running short. I believe promise lies in staying curious, opening to the possibility at hand and the sacredness that is still relevant today.

A special thank you to Beth Hannon Penny for sharing her insights about leadership with us today! Stay tuned every Friday as the I Am A Leader blog series continues. Please share this blog post via Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn. Let's continue the conversation on Twitter using the #iamaLEADER hash tag! You can connect with SOS Leadership on Twitter here.

Check out all of the I Am A Leader blogs here!

Leadership Lessons From FRIENDS: "The One with Ross's Sandwich"

Today's Leadership Lessons From FRIENDS blog features SOS President & COO Billy Moyer. Check out the previous FRIENDS blogs by Shane Montoya and Liz Davidson.

I often tell people that I look for leadership lessons everywhere. I look in movies, television shows, sports, etc. But I must say, I never really thought about the leadership lessons in FRIENDS until SOS partner, Amber Fogarty came up with the idea for this blog series. I have always been a huge fan of the show. I have seen every episode at least 10 times. But never have I thought about the leadership lessons. After thinking more about the show, it turns out that there are almost too many lessons to choose from! But rather than think about the best lesson from the show, I decided to write about one of my favorite all-time episodes, "The One with Ross's Sandwich."

This episode packs quite a bit into 30 minutes. There are two main plot lines in this episode and both represents a different leadership lesson. First, Phoebe enrolls in a literature class and Rachel decides to go with her. Phoebe takes the class seriously because she never had the opportunity to learn since she did not go to college. But Rachel does not take the class seriously. She does not read the book and steals Phoebe's answer to a question. The main leadership lesson here is that Phoebe has not given up on learning. She may not have taken the traditional route in life, but she still is committed to her growth. Rachel represents most people in this episode. She says she wants to learn, but she really wants to take the easy way out. Are you committed to growth in 2013? What will you learn? Will you take a literature class like Phoebe? Or will you just try to get by doing the minimum?

The other major part of this episode is Ross's turkey sandwich. Thanksgiving has just past (just like it has for us). Ross had a tough year. He had another failed marriage and many other things did not go his way. But the one thing he was excited about was a turkey sandwich that Monica made him. The sandwich included an extra piece of bread in the middle that was soaked in gravy, which he called the moist maker.

Ross brought the sandwich to work with him. He put it in the refrigerator and included a note so people would know that it was his. Someone ate the sandwich anyway, which enrages Ross. Monica makes him another sandwich and this time he includes a very nasty note, which makes his colleagues refer to him as mental. His boss sits down to talk with him about his anger issues and let's it slip that he was the one who ate his sandwich. Ross loses it and yells "MY SANDWICH!" over and over. His boss becomes frightened. This leads to Ross being forced to take a leave of absence from his job.

Ross lost his temper in this episode. Many people would just laugh and assume it is simply about a sandwich, but it was more than that. His anger was a cry for help. He was hurting and a leader who is hurting, hurts others. I think we all can relate to that. How many times have we hurt someone because we were not whole?

This has been a tough year for me so I can relate to Ross. But I know I must continue to get better. I can also relate to Phoebe. I want to learn in 2013. I want to commit to growth, but I need to make sure I don't become like Rachel and try to do the bare minimum.

In this holiday season, reflect on how you can be better in 2013. Do not lose your temper. Do not simply do the minimum. Become the best version of yourself and 2013 will be your best year ever! And after all that, if you have some time, watch some re-runs of FRIENDS! It is one of the greatest shows of all time. It is funny and how about that, there are some great leadership lessons!

Please check back with us in two weeks as our “Leadership Lessons from FRIENDS” blog series continues! 

Weekly Motivational Minute: "Busy, Being Busy"

Every week, an SOS Leadership partner or friend shares a motivational minute about a different leadership topic. This week, Amber Fogarty asks us the question are we "Busy, Being Busy?"

Leadership Lessons from Frosty the Snowman

A couple of years ago, I wrote a blog entitled Leadership Lessons from Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. It was interesting to reflect on what we can learn from a childhood classic. Today we'll explore the leadership lessons we can learn from our pal, Frosty the Snowman!

Thumpetty thump thump, Thumpetty thump thump, Look at Frosty go.  

Thumpetty thump thump, Thumpetty thump thump, Over the hills of snow.

What can a fictional snowman teach us about leadership? I think the three primary lessons of Frosty the Snowman (written in 1950) are lessons of positive thinking, resilience, and fun.

Positive Thinking
Frosty the Snowman embraced the moment, making the most of the time he was "alive." Think about it...he knew the "sun was hot that day," and he had a choice. He could wallow in self-pity, bemoaning the reality that he would melt away soon. But what did he choose to do?

"...he said 'let's run and we'll have some fun now before I melt away.'"

As a leader, how often do you choose to focus on the positive? To live in the moment? To make the most of every moment you're given? Frosty led the children, and he taught us a valuable leadership lesson in the process: positive thinking is powerful, and it allows leaders to inspire those who follow them.

Resilience
Frosty the Snowman was a resilient leader. He made a conscious choice to lead even though he knew he didn't have much time. One of the number one responses I hear from people about why they choose NOT to lead is that they don't have any time. Frosty didn't have time either...but he chose to lead anyway. He led for as long as he could and gave all that he had to give.

Frosty taught us that resilient leaders often have to make tough choices; they understand that "becoming requires overcoming," and they decide that they can and will overcome obstacles in order to answer the call to leadership.

As a leader, how are you exhibiting your resilience? What do you need to overcome in order to become the leader you're called to be?

Fun
At times leaders can forget about the importance of having fun. They get caught up in the day-to-day realities of action items and status reports and forget that they are leading people. These people need to "laugh and play just as the same as you and me." Frosty led people to fun!

As a leader, when was the last time YOU had fun? And when was the last time you led others to have fun, laugh, and play?

Thanks, Frosty! You've entertained my family for many years, and you've given us important leadership lessons that we can all apply in our daily lives. You're a rockin' snowman!

Lessons from the Major League's

Last week I had the pleasure of attending the Conversations with... Speaker Series at Concordia University in Austin, Texas. This event featured a conversation with three Major League Baseball pitchers including: Huston Street, Scott Linebrink, and Chad Qualls. I jumped at the opportunity to attend this event because I love sports. I learned a lot from these three men and wanted to share some of my biggest takeaways.

All three men were extremely smart. I could tell that there was much more to them than baseball. Sometimes I think we lump athletes into one category and never let them out. I probably related to Huston Street the most because he spoke very highly of his father, who he called the greatest coach he has ever had. I also have a special relationship with my father.

Billy Moyer (middle) with Huston Steet (left) and
Scott Linebrink (right).

Huston said a couple things that really stuck with me. He said, "Everyday you either get a little better or a little worse." You can either choose to grow or decline. If you stay the same you are declining. Truly effective leaders understand they must continue to grow.

He also said, "The good ones learn from their own mistakes. The great ones learn from other people's mistakes." I loved this statement. We so often talk about learning from our mistakes and that those mistakes are our greatest opportunities for growth, but we should learn from the mistakes of others. Why do people have to learn to not drink and drive after getting a DWI or worse? Plenty of other people have made that mistake so we should know better. What mistakes have you made that you did not have to make? What have you learned from the mistakes of others?

Scott Linebrink also had a couple points that really hit me. Scott just retired so it was interesting to hear his perspective. He said, "Attitude is something we all can control." There are so many things we cannot control in our lives, but we can control our attitude. But why do so many people choose a negative attitude? I am often guilty of this. It is important to remember that you cannot be a truly effective leader without a positive attitude.

He also said, "When the game is over, it is all about relationships." People are both the obstacle and solution to every goal you will ever have. You cannot accomplish anything without relationships. Scott was looking back on  a career in baseball, but this is true in our lives. When it is all over, people will be your legacy, not things.

I really enjoyed the Conversations with... Speaker Series at Concordia. I even had the opportunity to have lunch with two of the three speakers after the event, thanks to Don Christian, the Dean of the College of Business at Concordia. I learned a lot from my time with these Major League Baseball pitchers. I learn that they are not unlike me (just a lot taller!). All three men are great examples of leaders. All three have had success in baseball, but all three will have even more success after baseball. That says a lot about each of them.

I Am A Leader: Thoughts on Leadership from Jen Waller

Welcome to the I Am A Leader blog series, featuring leaders who make a difference. Today's guest blogger is Jen Waller. Jen is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.

As an experienced coach and trainer Jen is happy to utilise all skills at her disposal to assist clients from getting out of their own way and making a difference in the world with their coaching.

Her coaching blog, Coaching Confidence, is a blog for coaches of all niches. Containing daily quotes, alongside posts covering topics such as personal development, coaching skills and resources.

Keep in touch with Jen via:

Her blog: http://www.coachingconfidence.co.uk

A busy twitter account at http://www.twitter.com/thecoachingblog

Or if you prefer facebook, http://www.facebook.com/coachingconfidence

What do you think of when you hear the word leader? When I last looked up the word in a dictionary there were 11 different points listed for that word. Visit a bookstore or library and you’ll find book after book on leadership. (A quick visit to the UK Amazon site gave me a choice of 17,353 books in the leadership section.)

My guess is, as a reader of this great blog, you have a better grasp and a greater interest about being a leader and what that means than many other people. You are perhaps able to identify for yourself if you are already a leader, and maybe you have a really clear definition in your own head about what that means.

I think the first time I can recall that I would have used the label of leader for myself was during my teenage years. As a member of the UK Girl Guide association the group was divided into smaller sub-sets, known as patrols. Each patrol would vote for who in the group would be its “leader”.

These leaders were usually the older members of the group who had the most experience. So I didn’t read too much meaning into the label when I was voted as our patrol leader.

I took the role seriously and made sure I did things like arrange various extra curriculum activities, looked after new members, did what I could to support the group and set a good example etc. I just didn’t give much thought to that word “leader”.

Time progressed and I left education and started my first full time job. Working in the hospitality industry at management level I got an incredible education in so many parts of running a successful business. As a manager, in the size of outlets I was working in, you were required to be incredibly flexible in the role that you played to ensure the smooth running of a shift and the business.

Looking back I can see that I could have thought of myself using the label of a leader. I was consciously aware that my mood and behaviour could influence the rest of the staff and impact upon the customers. I was often required to make quick decisions, problem solve and provide answers etc.

However, my job title included the word manager and I don’t recall the words “leader” and “leadership” being part of the day-to-day conversations. So leader was just not a label I associated as being relevant – even though with the benefit of hindsight I can now see I learnt so much about leadership whilst in that role, apart from using the label of leader!

It was during this time I identified that it was developing staff that I loved. I took what to many may have looked like a change in carer direction, as I moved into specialising in training and development in a different industry.

As part of the learning and development team I spent a lot of time not only training and working with groups, but also having coaching conversations.

At one stage I worked for a business that went from being a growing medium sized family owned business, to one that was part of a multi-national organization in an industry that was going through regulatory change.

As the business evolved I had several conversations about leadership – perhaps prompted by part of the documentation that was used for every staff members progress review including the term “leader”!  As a training team member many staff turned to us, formally and informally, to relate that to their roles in the business.

It became clear to me then that many of them had slightly different ideas about what being a leader meant. Often if their job title didn’t directly include being a line manager it never occurred to them that they could also be a leader and develop/enhance their own leadership qualities/behaviours.

I now own my own business and one of the quotes about leadership that currently appeals to me is:

“Leadership is communicating to people their worth and potential so clearly that they come to see it for themselves.”

(Stephen R Covey, The 8^th habit)

I provide a service to existing coaches and those looking to become a coach. One of the common traits of those that I work with is that they want to make a difference in the world – our work together is usually about providing them with a variety of support so that they can increase and actually see the difference that they are making.

When I look at doing anything business related one of the questions I ask myself is does this “support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond”?

Yes, that makes it easier for my business to stay aligned with my mission, and I’m also aware that it is in alignment with being a leader even without being an employer of 1000’s of people.

I know that over time my thoughts around leadership and being a leader have changed and naturally developed.

As someone interested in leadership I’d like to end this post with inviting you to play with two questions:

• What does being a leader currently mean to you?
• What can you do as a “leader” to make even more of a positive difference?

A special thank you to Jen Waller for sharing her insights about leadership with us today! Stay tuned every Friday as the I Am A Leader blog series continues. Please share this blog post via Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn. Let's continue the conversation on Twitter using the #iamaLEADER hash tag! You can connect with SOS Leadership on Twitter here and Jen Waller here.

Check out all of the I Am A Leader blogs here!

My Leadership Journey – The Concordia MBA (Part 4)

There is only one class left in my first semester as an MBA student at Concordia University, and it feels great! I am excited that I am one-sixth of the way through, and I feel like I am already growing as a leader. Each class, I find myself coming up with new ideas, going deeper in thought about situations, and thinking more critically. These new ways of thinking are also starting to carry over into my work life.

I recently received a promotion at SOS Leadership to Chief Marketing Officer. After our 2013 planning meeting two weeks ago, I can tell the level of responsibility that I am going to have next year is going to be significantly different. This is an exciting time of growth in my career. Surprisingly enough, I am not stressed or worried about what is to come, but I am excited to take on these new challenges. The Concordia MBA in four short months has taught me so much, and has really helped me to gain confidence.

Hearing my fellow classmates in my cohort sharing stories and thoughts about what they are gaining from the MBA program, and how they use those teachings in their own professions inspires me to want to make something great of myself. It also reminds me how lucky I am to be a part of this great group of professionals for the next two years.

SOS Leadership does not just preach goal setting, but also taking action and achieving those goals. After only one semester in The Concordia MBA program, I know for certain that this is a goal that is important to me. I am determined to accomplish it! I am looking forward to seeing what type of leader I develop into over the course of the next two years!

“What keeps me going is goals.” – Muhammad Ali

Weekly Motivational Minute: "Goal Setting for 2013"

Every week, an SOS Leadership partner or friend shares a motivational minute about a different leadership topic. This week SOS Partner, Amber Fogarty shares with us her thoughts on "Goal Setting for 2013."

Maintaining Focus on What Matters Most

The countdown is on. 2013 will be here before we know it. 

The month of December is typically a whirlwind of holiday parties, decorating, card sending, entertaining, and gift buying. Hopefully, in the midst of it all, we find time to focus on What Matters Most in our lives. This is easier said than done; if we're honest with ourselves, we often get so focused on our to do lists during this time of year that we lose sight of why we celebrate this season. We may also forget to express gratitude to the people in our lives that bless us throughout the year.

Reflection Questions for December 2012:

• How will I maintain focus on what matters most during this joyous holiday season?
• How will I show gratitude to the people who have loved and supported me throughout 2012?
• How will I prepare for the holidays in a way that allows me to be able to relax and enjoy this season in a way that is meaningful to me?
• When will I schedule time to reflect on 2012 and all of the things I learned this year?

It really is the most wonderful time of the year...if we choose to make it so. How will you make this the most wonderful time of your year?

Go For It in 2013!

You have two choices in 2013: Grow or decline. Growth demands that you consciously choose growth and that choice always requires you to change. When most people decide to grow, their plan only reflects an increase in what they have already been doing. If you want to Go For It in 2013 you must choose growth, which means you must commit to change! Change is difficult because that choice is contrary to our natural human instincts. Doing more of the same will never take you to the next level. Remember that “if you do what you have always done, you will be who you have always been.” 

Going For It in 2013 will require courage, and the only way to get it is to develop it. Courage is your conditioned capacity to respond to all life events with positive actions rather than negative beliefs.

It will also require you to build on your strengths. Your weaknesses are merely dangers to be avoided. “Never let what you can’t do get in the way of what you can do.” - Coach John Wooden

You must also commit to personal responsibility in 2013. In order to do this, you must allow someone else to hold you accountable. Accountability leads to personal responsibility. Accountability pushes you past your self-imposed limitations. Accountability is the most powerful and effective force in helping you get to the next level. You can’t settle in because you have chosen to be accountable. 

With those thoughts in mind, I encourage you to GO FOR IT in 2013! Choose growth and make it your best year ever! Here are some ways to Go For It:

- Reflect on your strengths.
- Set written goals for the year.
- Develop a plan of action for those goals.
- Track your progress.
- Believe that you CAN do it!
- Don't give up, don't ever give up!
- Find a good coach or mentor to hold you accountable.

And last but certainly not least, remember that now is the time to take action and Go For It! A successful 2013 begins now!

I Am A Leader: Thoughts on Leadership from Tony Aguilar

Welcome to the I Am A Leader blog series, featuring leaders who make a difference. Today's guest blogger is Tony Aguilar. Tony is a former professional poker player turned socialpreneur. His passion is creating businesses and organizations that tackle social and economic problems. He is founder of Amiti Advising, America’s first financial planning firm for Gen-Y, and Campus Slice, a social funding platform that helps students raise money for tuition.

Amiti Advising Twitter, Amiti Advising Facebook, Campus Slice Twitter, Campus Slice Facebook, Blog - http://www.pursuing.it

“An inspirational leader gets people dreaming.” -- Marco Illi

I was six years old in my backyard, holding a bat with tears in my eyes. My dad was winding up to throw the next pitch and I stepped out of the way and dropped my bat. "I can't do it," I said, frustrated, because I could not make contact with the ball. I had to learn how to hit off a pitcher if I wanted to play with kids two years older than me. He looked at me and said, "Yes you can. I know you can."

There was something in my dad's eyes that instilled this extreme confidence in me. His look was so powerful that it keeps this memory so clear in my mind.

Throughout my life, my father provided words of wisdom with this same look in his eyes. I've carried this confidence and optimism my whole life. At times it could be mistaken for arrogance, but it is pure faith in my abilities. Without it, I would not be where I am today.

It took me two decades to finally realize what this was. I could see that he believed in me with everything in his soul and it gave me the confidence I needed to accomplish anything I was pursuing.

You can see the same look in the eyes of the world's true leaders. Look at a speech by Martin Luther King Jr., an interview with Steve Jobs, or a pre-game talk by Ray Lewis. You can see the passion shining through their eyes and feel the belief they have in their heart. It's mesmerizing.

Too many leaders try to "manage" and "motivate" their team. They read books, attend seminars, and try tactics to influence their team, but get frustrated when these things don't work. They are missing the most vital piece of influencing others.

Thinking back, I've always been a leader in the traditional sense (school president, team captain, founder of multiple organizations and businesses, yadda yadda), but most of these endeavors were to fulfill self-gratifying goals.

It wasn't until I started Amiti Advising where my leadership philosophy truly emerged. Amiti is the first company in the US to provide affordable financial planning for GenY - young professionals and recent college grads.

Building a new business from scratch can be a daunting task, so I immersed myself in articles, interviews, and books of people who I looked up to. I took extensive notes on everything I read, searching for the top three common traits that they all shared, so that I could implement these in my life.

After 2.5 years of studying, I realized that there are about a dozen common traits that most leaders share, but most importantly, I discovered that these traits are born from one place. They are born from inspiration.

Inspiration is the most important trait of a leader.

It cannot be taught. It cannot be faked.

There are three keys to being an inspirational leader:

1. Purpose
Inspiring leaders serve a higher purpose. Their goals are never self-satisfying. They strive to make everyone around them better and help others succeed.

2. Empathy
Inspirational leaders truly care about their team and everyone around them. Most importantly, they show this gratitude consistently.

3. Team Focused
Inspiring leaders are team oriented. They always put their team first, give them the credit, and all the praise. They understand that if it wasn't for their team and everyone around them they wouldn’t be as successful.

These are the things I strive to instill in my businesses and relationships.

If we think about common leadership traits like motivation, charisma, and enthusiasm we can see that these are forces that we push on someone else. These forces come and go throughout our days.

Inspiration, on the other hand, is an internal force that pulls people towards us. People are drawn to the passion and energy we have about a particular subject. This passion burns steady and deep in our core. It naturally motivates people.

Great leaders inspire people. People motivate themselves.

This is what my dad did for me. He inspired me and filled me with the confidence and belief I needed to pursue my dreams.

This what I want to do for everyone around me. I want to make a lasting impact on my team and customers. I want to inspire my friends and family to pursue their dreams and achieve their success. Most importantly, I want to surround myself with people who inspire me every day.

A special thank you to Tony Aguilar for sharing his insights about leadership with us today! Stay tuned every Friday as the I Am A Leader blog series continues. Please share this blog post via Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn. Let's continue the conversation on Twitter using the #iamaLEADER hash tag! You can connect with SOS Leadership on Twitter here and Tony Aguilar here.

Check out all of the I Am A Leader blogs here!