THE SOS LEADERSHIP BLOG HAS MOVED!

The SOS Leadership Blog has recently been redesigned in WordPress as part of the launch of the brand new SOS Leadership website. 

Thank you to all our readers that have supported us over the past 5 years. We have had over 110,000 views over that time. SOS Leadership was named the 2013 Favorite Professional Development Source in Austin, Texas by the Austin Young Chamber. The SOS Leadership blog has been named an Exemplary Leadership Site, an Important Site for Healthcare Leaders, a Top 100 Leadership Blog, and a Top 30 Social Shared Blog.

Please continue to follow the SOS Leadership Blog! 

Student's Who Give- A Lesson From The Younger Generation

During my short time here at San Juan Diego Catholic High School, I've had the pleasure of being able to interview some amazing students. The students that I've interviewed have all been seniors, about to graduate from high school and make their mark on the world. What has amazed me about the students I've interviewed is how ambitious and selfless they are. They devote their time to not only their studies, but they devote their time to helping out in their community by volunteering at local organizations.

These students are also grateful for the opportunity to come to such an amazing school. Every single student I interviewed expressed to me how thankful they were for the sacrifices their parents made. One student even spoke of how he wanted to build a house for his parents after he finished his masters degree. Although the way the students wanted to express their gratitude to their parents for pushing them to go further in their education and giving them the opportunity to do so, it was all gratitude nonetheless.

From my point of view, it's very refreshing to see the younger generations of students be so grateful for what they have. It's rare, I think, when older generations can look at younger generations and take a lesson from them. I know some people from older generations who dwell on every worry, every stress, and they don't look at the bigger picture of how blessed they are with everything they have. Some of these students I interviewed don't have much, but they are thankful and see what they have, and are happy nonetheless.

At times when we feel overly stressed or overworked, we should take a step back and see all that we've accomplished in our lives; we need to take a few notes from the younger generation every now and then. We need to realize, in this crazy world filled with work and everyday life stresses, we should be carefree at times while still realizing how blessed we are to have the things that we have.

Talking to a Stranger

Today's guest blog comes from SOS Gr8 Women Leader Ashley Schenk.

For the past several months I've been focusing on answering the call.... not just answering the call to leadership but also answering the call to discovering who I am and being the best version of myself. Since I’ve started my leadership journey, I’ve really been confronted with determining what matters most in my life; discovering where I am right now, where I want to be in the future, and faced with the task of setting  priorities. Through the Gr8 Leaders Program, I have been challenged, pushed, and encouraged to find and become who I was born to be.

The only problem is… it’s quite exhausting. Most people would think that after 28 years of life, you’d already know who you are, what you want to be, where you’re going, and it would be a piece of cake to list your passions in life. To be honest, I truly feel like I’ve been talking to a stranger.

I’ve found that the real issue most of us women face is the intimidating question of how we can stop trying to be who we aren’t, let go of who we think we’re supposed to be, and hold true to who we were born to be. This is the exact foundation of the book “The Gifts of Imperfection.” Through the bombardment of messages from social media, expectations from ourselves, our boss, co-workers, friends and family, we are led to believe that if we could only be perfect and live perfect lives, we’d no longer feel inadequate. We’d be the perfect picture of people-pleasing women with the super powers to be skinny regardless of the mounds of chocolate cake we devour on a bad day. It’s the epitome of false fronts, it’s damaging, it’s exhausting, and it’s not who I was born to be.

I was born to be a positive leader with the ability to be honest, authentic, and open. It’s a vulnerable transparency that creates the ability to understand others. It comes in many shapes and forms, is developed through experiences, and it is unique… but it all leads back to the passion and desire to create an environment that is inviting and rejects false fronts. It’s facing the challenge of distinguishing myself as a unique individual who was created to make a difference in the lives of others. Leadership is the ability to answer tough questions about my attitudes towards other people, outside circumstances, and myself.

It’s through these tough questions that I have found out who I am.  I’ve become myself through mistakes, failures, obstacles, failed relationships, divorce, disappointments, and the difficulties of being a single mom.  Most importantly, I’ve become myself by learning to have the courage, compassion, and faith to know that people are both the obstacle and the solution to every goal I have.

Leadership… though the word can be quite intimidating at times, its merely the simple ability to lead yourself and others quickly to high levels of effectiveness and it all depends on your capability to maintain a focus, regardless of the circumstances that arise. You have to make mistakes to find out who you aren’t, you have to take action to find out what you’re capable of and you need to have courage to find out who you are.

“I am strong because I’ve been weak. I am beautiful because I am aware of my flaws. I am brave because I’ve been afraid. I am wise because I’ve been foolish. I regret nothing in my life, even if my past was full of hurt. I can still look back and smile because it made me who I am today.” 

Through the journey of discovering who I was born to be, I am reminded that allowing circumstances to dictate my attitudes and actions will only prevent me from becoming the leader I am called to be. The truth is I do not have to control situations or other people to reach the goals that matter most to me. I have the power and control to recognize the unlimited potential for creating a positive contribution to my family, friends, coworkers, and faith community.

I am so grateful to have wonderful, honest, and Godly women in my life and I’m so thankful for this journey to becoming a great leader. So, as I challenge myself, I also challenge other women… don’t talk to a stranger. Find out who you are, answer the tough questions, discover how you too can love who you are and become the person you were meant to be.

The SOS Gr8 Women Leaders Program is a year-long leadership development program designed to empower and equip leaders to make a difference. Click here to learn more! Also, check out this short video!

Texas Conference for Women: Leyma Gbowee's Reminder that IT IS POSSIBLE

Today's blog post by Ana-Cristina González is the fifth in our series about the 2013 Texas Conference for Women. Make sure to check out the first, second, third, and fourth blogs in the series. Come back next Tuesday to read the next blog in this series!

Ana-Cristina is the Director of Stewardship and Development for Saint William’s Catholic Church in Round Rock. She holds a BS in Human Development and Family Sciences from THE University of Texas and a Masters in Communications and Organizational Leadership from Gonzaga University. When she is not spending time with her amazing niece, she can be found enjoying the wonderful city of Austin, TX! 

Pih.Tih.Ful. Pitiful.  That is how I would describe how I was feeling the day before attending the Texas Women’s Conference.  I was full of discouragement and doubt.  I remember telling several people that I hoped the conference would give me the pep talk I so desperately needed.  I was not disappointed.

The morning keynotes were a great start to the day.  They were energetic, up-beat, and positive….so far, so good.  I could feel myself relaxing a little bit.  I went into the first break out session and was definitely inspired by the women talking about shifts they made in their lives to create big changes whether it was personal or professional.  It took me back to my coaching call…what change did I need to make in my personal and professional life to make things better?  The only control I have is over me and not others.  What could I be doing differently?  Ok…even better, I was relaxing and beginning to problem solve. 

Lunch was upon us and I was curious to see how it would all work because I had noticed there were several speakers besides the keynote, Rachel Ray.  Two speakers stood out to me, Sallie Krawcheck and Leymah Gbowee.  Sallie challenged and motivated me on a professional level.  Leymah challenged my heart and my soul. 

Leymah Gbowee is a Noble Peace Prize winner who is credited for ending the civil war in Liberia by organizing a women’s peace movement.  Leymah is the type of person who walks into a room and everyone suddenly gets quieter.  She has a presence.  From the moment she began speaking, the room was silent and electric all at the same time.  Leymah spoke on her work, always beginning each story with the question “Is it possible to change the tide?”  She would then proceed with stories, incredible stories on how people’s lives were changed, how history was changed in her country, how the world was changed, through her courageous work and by not remaining silent.

Is it possible to change the tide? Yes, she said, but only when we step out of our comfort zone.  She spoke of being constantly told she was crazy, that what she wanted to do was impossible, but she has learned that the power of possibility is the power that changes the world.  The world might be saying it’s impossible, but we are saying it IS possible.  The power of possibility always makes you look like a fool, but you must step up and step out of your comfort zone.  She ended her time with a challenge saying “the world is waiting to hear from someone in this room…for you to make a fool out of yourself to change the tide.  Let’s make it possible for some woman, some girl to dream.”

How did she know that I needed to hear this?  I joke that I don’t know what the other people in the room were doing while she was talking directly to me, but it felt like that keynote was scheduled just for me.  I left that day on fire!  I left re-charged.  I left rejuvenated.  I left feeling like I wasn’t alone.  When the room gave Leymah a standing ovation, I realized I am not the only one who gets discouraged or has dark cloud days.  Leymah challenged me not to give up and keep going.  Baby steps are still steps forward.  Tides can’t be changed in one day or even a year, but the tiniest of steps can result in the greatest of changes.  I may not be there to see the fruits of my labor, but I must keep moving even at the risk of sounding foolish. 

I went to work the next day and had back to back meetings with the leadership in my organization on some topics that I had been silent on.  It was good to talk about it and I received some good feedback.  Were all the problems solved?  No, but things were brought to light and when things are no longer hidden in the darkness….change can happen.

You can check out Leymah Gbowee's keynote here

My Leadership Journey at Concordia University

Brandon Pederson is President of The Executives Business Club at Concordia University and part of the Student Government Committee of the Student Athletic Advisory Council where he is the voice of the university’s athletes during Student Government meetings. 

My leadership journey at Concordia University began when I was elected President of The Executives Business Club, an organization of business students whose mission is to “build upon one another for a better future.” We meet once a week to discuss current business events, bring in members of the surrounding business community to have conversations with, and improve our university through service projects and events. I organize the meetings every week and plan out what we will discuss.

This semester, I was able to have the President of Rada International, a global supply-chain solutions company, come speak with us. Along with myself, I have a Vice President, Secretary, Treasurer, Risk Management Officer, and a Marketing Officer. I delegate tasks to each member of my team to make the club run more smoothly. Along with serving as President of The Executives Business Club, I also serve on the Student Government Committee of the Student Athletic Advisory Council. I am the voice of the university’s athletes during Student Government meetings. 

Representing not only my golf team, but the entire athlete population at the university has given me a greater sense of responsibility and leadership. I am held to a higher standard than other students because I represent my fellow athletes on the committee, as well as business students in The Executives. I greatly enjoy having this extra sense of responsibility and leadership. I have learned how to better lead and manage people with these leadership positions, and I look forward to continuing this next semester.  

Today's post is the fourth post in the Student's Who Lead blog series.

Leadership Lessons from Nelson Mandela

This week the world is mourning the loss of a truly remarkable leader. Nelson Mandela's legacy will live on. As a leader, he taught us all so much about resilience, courage, forgiveness, and being a game-changer. 

Now, a tribute to Nelson Mandela, a leader who made a real and lasting difference in his 95 years. We share with you today his own words, words that speak volumes about the way he approached leadership:

"A good head and a good heart are always a formidable combination."

"It always seems impossible until it's done."

"It is never my custom to use words lightly. If twenty-seven years in prison have done anything to us, it was to use the silence of solitude to make us understand how precious words are and how real speech is in its impact on the way people live and die." 

"Reconciliation means working together to correct the legacy of past injustice." 

"Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world."

"Lead from the back, and let others believe they are in front." 

"I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear."

"Do not judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again."

"When people are determined, they can overcome anything."

Which of Nelson Mandela's quotes most inspires you to lead?

Ashley Moyer’s Leadership Journey (The Concordia MBA part 13)

As I have mentioned in previous posts, The Concordia MBA program emphasizes teamwork. In most classes, the semester ends with a large group project. Last semester in Operations Management was a strategic plan, in other classes it was putting together proposals or an analysis of accounting frauds.

The teams change from semester to semester. At the beginning of each semester, I find myself taking a back seat while figuring out group dynamics. Even though we all know each other well, each team seems to work differently from the one before. In some semesters I have been the team leader, in others I supported another leader.

In the spring, I will take a capstone course that is designed for us to act as consultants to an Austin area business or non-profit. Businesses coordinate with our program director, Elise Brazier, PhD to submit their projects for MBA students to work on. When Dr. Brazier sent us the proposals, I did not find myself particular drawn to a project. Like I had in previous semesters, I sat back and listened to what my classmates thought of these projects.

As the fall semester was coming to an end, I decided to step up. I sought out my own business to work with (shout out to the folks at Student Loan Benefits!), recruited my classmates for interest in the project, and facilitated an introduction meeting last week. My team is already putting together an action plan for our semester as consultants with SLB.

As a leader, it is important to know when to lead and when to be led. However, if you have a clear vision, you must be proactive in making the vision come to fruition. As Paul J Meyer said, “Whatever you vividly imagine, ardently desire, sincerely believe, and enthusiastically act upon, must inevitably come to pass.”

Texas Conference for Women: Am I the Problem?

Today's blog post by Amber Fogarty is the fourth in our series about the 2013 Texas Conference for Women. Make sure to check out the first, second, and third blogs in the series. Come back next Tuesday to read the next blog in this series!

One of the sessions I attended at the Texas Conference for Women was called Winning from Within, and it gave me a lot to think about. Internationally renowned negotiation and conflict resolution pioneer Erica Ariel Fox offered a forward-thinking approach to leading and living by mastering the “negotiation within.” Fox says that the most important negotiations start from within ourselves, rather than with others.

As we learn how to negotiate, we are often taught to separate the people from the problem. Sound advice, right?

Here's what Ms. Fox said that most resonated with me:

Separating the people from the problem doesn't work if the people are the problem. It also doesn't work if I am part of the problem.

Ms. Fox then asked us to ponder these questions:

What if I am the problem? What if I'm getting in my own way? Do I know how to negotiate with myself?

She reminded us that we each have many internal voices, which she referred to as inner negotiators. We hear, "I want," "I think," "I feel," "I should do this or that," etc. on a daily basis. There's not just one voice. And unfortunately the voices often disagree. 

Ms. Fox asserts that we each have our own Inner Executive Team that consists of:

Your Inner CEO - Creates possibilities: Sets strategic vision, gives direction.
Your Inner CFO - Clarifies perspectives: Analyzes data, manages risk.
Your Inner VP of HR - Cares about people: Feels emotions, manages relationships.
Your Inner COO - Catalyzes performance: Takes action, reaches goals.

We all have a tendency to focus on one or two members of our Inner Executive Team, but the other members are there, and sometimes they create confusion about how we should move forward. Which member of your Executive Team are you most inclined to listen to? Where is their inner conflict between the members of your own Executive Team?

My key takeaway: The next time I'm approaching a negotiation situation, I should ask myself honestly if I am part of the problem. Not in a negative, self-deprecating way, but in a candid, thoughtful way with an openness to what I need to learn and how I need to grow. Leaders are accountable. We recognize our own shortcomings and commit to learning from our mistakes. We recognize that truly remarkable leadership requires negotiating not just with others, but also with ourselves. 

Are You the Lid?

I have seen a lot of organizations fail because of poor leadership. I truly believe that this is the main reason any company fails. The blame tends to fall elsewhere, but if your organization is failing you may want to look in the mirror to find the person responsible. Often I believe leaders forget that their own personal growth determines the growth of their followers. John Maxwell calls this the law of the lid.

No organization, no group of people can outgrow the leader. If the CEO of an organization is not committed to his or her own growth then the organization will eventually fail. The rest of the people cannot grow past the leader. These leaders in organizations who have stopped growing often blame their people for poor results. These leaders may pick apart every little thing someone does. They become the ultimate micro-managers.

Don't become this type of leader. Don't be the lid for your organization or for any group of people you lead. Commit to your own personal development. Never stop learning and growing. Because as we say in our soon to be released book (The Turnaround Feb 2014), "If You Don't Grow, You GO!"

Milestones

Kassi Kincaid is a sophomore at Concordia University Texas. She is a business major currently serving as a Senator of the Business College and Student Worker in charge of Speaker Series.

Some days are extra special. They serve as milestones along ones journey. December 5, 2013 was such a day for me. The College of Business celebrated hosting their 50^th speaker by a reflection speaker series over the past five years. For me this was not only a day of reminiscing for the College of Business, but a moment of reflecting back on my leadership journey as student worker currently in charge of hosting these events.

This journey started last November when Dean Christian invited me to lunch with the CEO speakers and also asked me if I would help greet people beforehand. I was thrilled because I saw this as a great opportunity, but didn’t know where it would lead me. Since that day, I have continued to help with every speaker series and find myself now working the event.

This job presents several responsibilities and opportunities for leadership. First, I am the first face the speaker sees on campus, so first impressions and how I present myself really reflect the school in a major way. Second, I am in charge of managing the people I get to help me run the event. Since my concentration is business management, this has been a golden opportunity to practice both leadership and management skills. Two main things I have taken away from this job are 1) Communication skills are essential and 2) Passion makes all the difference in what you do.

Communication is the cohesive bond that makes speaker series possible, from the day I start preparing to the time of the actual event. Passion is a tool of leadership, inspiring others by the excitement and effort you display. I am grateful how this job has been a part of my leadership journey and I look forward to seeing what the future speaker series have in store.

Today's post is the third post in the Student's Who Lead blog series.

Texas Conference for Women: Power of Possibility

Today's blog post by Heather Caraway is the third in our series about the 2013 Texas Conference for Women. Make sure to check out the first and second blog in the series. Come back next Tuesday to read the next blog in this series!

Heather Caraway is a Global Project Manager in Commercial Sales Operations at Dell, Inc. She helps to lead the global deployment and optimization of a sales enablement tool designed to deliver Dell’s hardware and services to customers for evaluation. Heather has been involved in CASA, Hill Country Conservancy, Mobile Loaves and Fishes, Leadership Austin, and served on the Board of Directors for the Young Women’s Alliance. She is currently enjoying life as a newlywed and loves reading, writing, fitness, anything outdoors, exploring new things in Austin, and traveling. 

As weird as it is, I often think about the mortality of human life and how we only get so many chances. It’s easy to discount your life and to think that there is only one of you and a ton of issues or problems to tackle so why try or make an effort?

I had the pleasure of attending this year’s Texas Conference for Women where the theme was “The Power of Possibilities”. I couldn’t help but ask myself as I sat during the opening session amongst 5,000+ women feeling fairly overwhelmed: But how do you take the idea that there is only one you, and a ton of possibilities for your life and actually DO something about it?”  I have a tendency to overcomplicate things (ahem, analysis paralysis) so when the answer hit me around 10 a.m. as I was attending a session with the fabulously hilarious Mel Robbins, a CNN and HLN Legal contributor, lawyer-turned-life coach, and author of Stop Saying You’re Fine, it was a little too simple for my taste – how do you take one you, one life, and create the limitless Power of Possibility? You just do. We sabotage ourselves at every turn. Our brains don’t want us to work outside our comfort zone and as long as we are trying to do things that take extra effort or brain mass (which let’s face it, is anything worth doing), we are going to tell ourselves no. We are going to come up with a million excuses why we shouldn’t do it instead of one as to why we should.

I’ll give you an example from about 5 minutes ago – writing this blog post, I told myself about 10 reasons why I couldn’t/shouldn’t do it: I got sick for a week and I missed the deadline, the deadline was over the Thanksgiving holiday weekend, I am still getting over being sick, I’m too busy with family, I’m out of town, I don’t know what to write about, I haven’t written in a long time, what if it isn’t relevant, it’s not that important that I write it…so on and so forth.

And then I started to think about Leymah Gbowee, a keynote speaker at the conference. Leymah is a Nobel Peace Laureate and Liberian peace activist who helped bring an end to the Second Liberian Civil War in 2003 (whoa, bring on the power). At one point she and her family lived as homeless refugees, begging for food and almost starving, yet she took the single act of getting a group of women together to talk about what action they were going to take to stop the violence affecting so many – and she did it. I wonder – how many times did her brain tell her no, and that she couldn’t do it? And how many times did she forge ahead anyway?

In today’s world, we have an infinite number of decisions on a daily basis and those decisions lead to possibilities…or they don’t. How many times do we let those moments to grasp a possibility or change for our life pass us by because we let our brains win? I think sometimes we feel said action has to be some large gesture in one swoop, like losing 50 pounds, writing a book, or ending social injustice in the world. But it doesn’t – it can be something as small as turning off the TV and going for a walk, writing a paragraph in a notebook, or volunteering once a month with an organization that brings development and opportunity to the disadvantaged. If we get into a place of action, of doing, then we are automatically putting ourselves into the Power of Possibility. But if we do nothing, then our brain will continue to tell us no, our lives don’t change, and the world doesn’t change.

I’ll leave you with a quote from Stop Saying You’re Fine:

It’s time to reconsider your limits. In the modern world, fear is baggage. You need to question all those feelings and signals that your unconscious mind is sending you. Caution keeps you from making a change. Worry stops you from taking action. Uncertainty prevents you from exploring and breaking out of your routines. Anxiety inhibits you from taking even the most basic risks…You must break out of your personal ruts so you can truly and honestly feel happy and satisfied with your life. Finding meaning and purpose in your life is the “new survival.”

So, that is my challenge to myself and to you – what is the ONE action you are going to take today to reconsider your limits and open yourself up to the Power of Possibility? What is the one thing you can do today that may change your life next week or the world in a year? Ignore your brain, and go do it.

Perspective Shifts

For the fourth consecutive year the SOS Leadership team is continuing its tradition of blogging about gratitude and what matters most during the week of Thanksgiving. Today Amber Fogarty continues the series with a post about not taking the gifts in our lives for granted. To read the first blog in the series, click here. Stay tuned throughout the week for more perspectives on gratitude. 

It's almost baffling how easy it can be to take what we have for granted. From the simple pleasures in life to the people who provide us unconditional love, we often focus on what we don't have, rather than being grateful for the gifts that are right in front of us.

When I think about my day yesterday, just one day of my life, I am in awe of the blessings in my life. In just one day, I experienced my son's Thanksgiving Play at school, a Lunch & Learn with a group of incredible leaders who are all actively working to develop themselves, coffee with a mentor and friend who I admire and respect, a Board Meeting for a nonprofit that serves the needs of the most vulnerable on a daily basis, a delicious meal made by my loving husband, cuddles and butterfly kisses with my kids, a hot cup of tea...How easy it can be to get caught up in the whirlwind that is our lives and miss the day-to-day joy that is right in front of us. 

How many days do you lay in bed at night focusing on what didn't get done that day rather than what you accomplished? For most of my life, that's been my default mode...no matter how productive I was, no matter how many things got checked off my to do list, it was never enough. A perspective shift was needed. I've been in the midst of that perspective shift for many years. It's not always easy, and that default mode still takes over from time to time, particularly when I'm stressed or overwhelmed by my to do list.

I am grateful for perspective shifts. I am so thankful that those perspective shifts come at exactly the right time, when I most need to be reminded of what matters most. 

Last night when I was tucking my almost four year old son in, he said, "Mommy, I have to tell you something." As I came closer to his sweet face, he wrapped his arms around me and said, "I want to be just like you." As the tears welled up in my eyes, I thought about the awesome responsibility of leadership. "People become like their leader." I say this often when I'm speaking and facilitating workshops, and I know it's true. Yet, last night those words brought about a perspective shift, as I thought about what I'm teaching my kids about gratitude. I know that my leadership matters. What I do and say makes a difference. I'm grateful for that reminder; it came at exactly the right time.

Reflection Questions:

• What perspective shifting moments have you experienced recently? 
• How will you make thanksgiving a way of life and not just a one-day turkey and stuffing celebration? 

Let's not take the gifts in our lives for granted - a roof over our heads, food on the table, and most importantly, the unconditional love that we experience from the people in our lives who matter most. They are the gifts that keep on giving. 

Texas Conference for Women: Redefining Bravery

Today's blog post by Courtney Clark is the second in our series about the 2013 Texas Conference for Women. Check out the first blog in the series here. Come back next Tuesday to read the next blog in this series!

Courtney Clark is a cancer survivor, brain aneurysm survivor, and motivational speaker. She is currently researching the role of philanthropy and volunteerism in helping people heal from traumatic life events. Courtney is a nonprofit entrepreneur and development professional proficient in board training, fundraising, outreach, and community relations.

I have to confess.  At last week’s Texas Conference for Women, I was excited about the inspirational speakers.  I was looking forward to networking with like-minded women.  I was prepared to feel professionally rejuvenated.  But there was one session I was planning to take “off.” 

Amidst all the personal and professional growth opportunities, I felt a little guilty for going to The Bloggess’s breakout session.  Like I was having cotton candy in the middle of dinner.  But I’m a huge Bloggess fan, I read her blog almost every night, and there was no way I was going to miss seeing her live and in person, even if it meant I had to prioritize her over other great (probably more mainstream) sessions.

I skipped the ultra-long line for the bathroom (props to the woman who admitted on Twitter that she thought to use the men’s room, which was OBVIOUSLY empty at the Texas Conference for Women!  Duh!) and raced to the room to get a front row seat for the Bloggess, ready to laugh and be silly with one of my favorite blog authors. 

I did laugh.  I definitely did.  But Jenny Lawson, the Bloggess, also made me think about bravery in a new way.  You see, Jenny struggles with depression, generalized anxiety disorder, and social anxiety.  In fact, before the session, she sat in a quiet, tucked away corner in the back of the room to get her anxiety under control, yet she was gracious whenever some rabid fan (it was NOT me, I swear!) came sneaking up to capture a secret iPhone picture. 

Jenny’s bravery shone through as she talked about carrying her daughter to term after several scary miscarriages.  It was obvious when she told us about getting her first blog deal, then book deal.  She was the very definition of bravery by even getting up and speaking in front of a standing room only crowd.

But I started thinking about what bravery really means when she admitted how hard it was the first time she was honest on her blog.  When she said the words “I have mental illness.”  When she admitted to not always being, in her words, “furiously happy.”  How often do we – all of us – pretend that our lives are perfect?  Heck, that’s practically the PURPOSE of social media!  “Look at how sweet my boyfriend is, he got me flowers!” “Look at how adorable my kids are, smiling in the pumpkin patch!” “I just got a promotion!” “I just cooked this delicious meal!”  It’s not necessarily bad that we trumpet our success on social media.  But it makes us hesitant to share our failures and admit to our shadows.

Bloggess Jenny Lawson is hysterically funny.  But she is unashamedly, unabashedly real.  And that’s the honest truth. 

Get Rid of Excess and Be Thankful!

For the fourth consecutive year the SOS Leadership team is continuing its tradition of blogging about gratitude and what matters most during the week of Thanksgiving. Today Billy Moyer kicks off the series. Stay tuned throughout the week for more perspectives on gratitude. 

This is the season for Thanksgiving and it is time to take a step back and think about all of the blessings we have in our lives. It is a time to be grateful for the food we eat, the roof over our head, and the people who love us and are always there. This is a time when we "give thanks to the Lord with all our heart."

Many times we are not thankful for those things. We instead focus on all that we don't have. Isn't it crazy that in this country we spend one day giving thanks and then the next day we go crazy and trample over other people just to get a good deal at a store? We start making lists of all the things we want people to get us, but what on those lists do we actually need? Yes, this is a time of thanksgiving. But it also has become a time of excess.

This Thursday I challenge you to do things a little differently. Don't get upset because someone didn't make your favorite kind of yams or in my case my mom’s homemade pumpkin pie. Don't stuff yourself so much that you have to put on elastic pants. Don't get into arguments over pointless things with your family and friends. On Friday, if you decide to go shopping in all that craziness, treat people with respect. Don't be upset if you don't get what you want because you already have everything that you need.

Spend this Thanksgiving actually giving thanks for What Matters Most. Spend time with the people that matter most. And think about all those who are less fortunate than you. All those people who would give anything to walk in your shoes. Let's get rid of the excess this year when it comes to "things." We should only have excess in love, friendship, faith, service, and gratitude. Everything else is not What Matters Most.

The late great missionary Jim Elliot said: “Give up what you cannot keep, to gain what you cannot lose.” That is what I will think about this Thanksgiving and for the rest of this year. Will you join me? Together we can take our excess, spread it out, and make a difference!

Leading Through School Spirit

Jessica Liss is a senior at St. Edward's Unviersity and captain of the university's cheerleading team. She will be graduating with honors in May of 2014. 

My leadership role at my university is my position as captain of the St. Edward’s University Cheerleading team. When I first came to college, I was a young girl who was excited, but scared and unsure. I wasn't sure how the next four years would turn out, and I surely wasn't as confident and mature as I am now. 

My former cheerleading captain, Jane Marie Agnew, was an amazingly talented athlete and student. She had a 4.0 GPA, was involved in every student organization, and to top it all off, was beautiful both on the inside and out. As a young student, I knew that I wanted to strive to be just like Jane Marie. I am now the captain of this amazing squad and have worked hard to serve as a role model for my younger teammates that Jane Marie was for me.

While on the cheerleading team, I have spent every day striving to effectively lead the St. Edward’s community through my leadership position. Whether I be cheering-on our athletic teams, participating in community service, leading my team in competition, or promoting the university’s events and mission, I make it my goal to represent this school to the best of my ability. Maintaining a high GPA, and exemplifying academic excellence is a way that I lead my team and student body, as well. When people see me wearing the SEU letters on my uniform, I want them to not only see a talented athlete, but a well-rounded and successful individual in all areas of student life. 

Each week, I put in about 15 hours of planning, running, and participating in practices, events, and activities that serve one purpose: to serve the St. Edward’s community in promoting school spirit and involvement. This involvement goes beyond athletic games and events. The promotion of involvement in the community, both inside our school walls and out, is a day-to-day job that I gladly take on. This involvement is helping me grow as a leader.

Four years later, I look back on the most amazing college experience one could have. In May, I am graduating in the top 10 percent of my class, with honors and the confidence to take on my world. 

Today's post is the second post in the Student's Who Lead blog series.

Failure Is Not An Option (The Concordia MBA Part 12)

I am 15 months into the Concordia MBA program and if you asked me how I am feeling my answer would be, exhausted! I keep asking myself over and over again: Why did you make this decision? Why at this time when your life is already so busy?

Last week I began my second leadership class in the program. As an intro to the class all the student’s were asked to give a brief three minute presentation about themselves. Part of this presentation needed to include our Strengths Finder strengths. It has been about nine months since the last time I reviewed my report. Reading about what makes me who I am could not have come at a better time.

As I have mentioned in a previous blog my number one strength is achiever. It’s not that I forgot that I like to succeed and overcome obstacles, but it was refreshing to get a reminder of what makes me, me! As I stood up in front of the class, I talked about my journey to get to where I am today. I was surprised at how much I have grown in 15 months. The exhaustion, although overwhelming at times, is worth it me! (Learn more about this in my last blog called "Is It Worth It to Me?" http://www.sosleadershipblog.com/2013/10/is-it-worth-it-to-me.html)

Failure is not an option in my eyes. Quitting is also not an option. I will overcome the exhaustion and I will achieve this goal. It is that important to me. When asked by the professor what am I grateful for my family came to mind. I could not do this without the support of my wife, close friends, and the help of my cohort family. I will continue on this journey and by August 2014 I will be writing about my graduation day. What a victorious day it will be! But of course I know it won't be the end of my journey. It is just another step forward.

Texas Conference for Women: Best Ideas & Words of Wisdom

Yesterday I had the incredible opportunity to attend the Texas Conference for Women for the second year in a row. Spending a day among 5,000+ other women leaders is an amazing experience! A few months ago, I wrote this blog that was featured on the Texas Conference for Women site about how profound and powerful my first time at the conference was last year and why I HAD to return this year. Without a doubt, this conference is now an annual tradition. 

This year I was honored to be part of the Texas Conference for Women Social Media Street Team and to have SOS Leadership's Austin Leading Ladies, a movement of women leaders I launched in January of this year, participating in the conference as an official Supporting Organization. Sharing this day with so many women I know, respect, and love made this year's conference unforgettable. The theme of this year's conference was The Power of Possibilities: Define Your Own Success.

Some of the Austin Leading Ladies enjoying lunch together

Here are the best ideas I took away from the conference keynotes (more to come about my breakout session takeaways in a future post):

Words of Wisdom from Verna Myers, Nationally Recognized Diversity Expert & Author:

• Leaders must embrace the power of difference. 
• Inclusion is about cultivating. Diversity is about counting. 
• Diversity is about being invited to the party. Inclusion is being asked to dance.
• We've been taught that difference is a problem! In order to move diversity forward, we have to notice who isn't included, whose voices aren't being heard.

Words of Wisdom from Bob Beaudine, CEO of Eastman & Beaudine & Author:

• What if the people in your life were put there strategically to help you get where you want to go?
• You hold the key to your friends and family's goals and dreams. Are you helping them to achieve what they desire?
• God gave you YOUR WHO. You have a community of friends who will come to your aid in a heartbeat. 
• Remember who you are and whose you are. You are a daughter of the King.

Words of Wisdom from Esmerelda Santiago, Award Winning Author & Filmmaker:

• I can make my life a work of art by creating myself.
• We make history happen by creating who we are.
• This is the beginning of your creation of the rest of your life.

Words of Wisdom from Jenny Lawson, aka The Bloggess & Author:

• If you are pretending your life is perfect on social media, you are missing the moments to be brave and real.
• Do things every day that make you furiously happy!

Words of Wisdom from Sallie Krawcheck, One of the Most Respected Voices on Wall Street:

• Holding yourself to standards of perfection is exhausting.
• If it comes down to your ethics or your job, choose your ethics. You can always find another job.
• Your network matters. Research shows that women don't have nearly the networks that men do.
• Never underestimate the power of gratitude. And a big glass of wine or two!

Words of Wisdom from Leymah Gbowee, Nobel Peace Laureate:

• It is possible.
• Pain and anger drive me. Results and joy keep me running!
• Until you step out of your comfort zone, you will never really see or hear.
• The power of possibilities is the power that changes the world. Do you believe in your own power? Do you know what's possible for you?
• Am I too afraid to dream out loud? Am I working today to change tomorrow?
• The power of possibility always makes you look like a fool. The world is waiting for someone in this room. The world is waiting for you to change the tide. The sensible things don't make sense anymore. It's the crazy things that will make the world upright.

Words of Wisdom from Rachael Ray, Celebrity Chef, Author, & Businesswoman:

• (Had to share how she LOVED ON my home sweet home): Austin is a utopian city. It’s a great cultural example of what it means to be an American.
• Always be growing, but at the same time, always be true to your brand.
• Anyone can be a Rachael Ray.

What a powerful, thought-provoking, laughter-inducing, tear-jerking, inspiring, whirlwind of a day...I can't wait to do it again next year!

Stay tuned in the weeks to come for additional perspectives from other Austin Leading Ladies about what they learned at the 2013 Texas Conference for Women! And if you're in Austin, mark your calendar to join us for our final Austin Leading Ladies event of 2013 on December 12th from 6-8pm at Opal Divine's Penn Field. Get all of the details & RSVP here!

What Makes a Leader Great by the SOS Gr8 Women Leaders

Last week, we launched our sixth group of the SOS Gr8 Women Leaders Program with nine phenomenal women who are committed to developing their leadership skills and challenging themselves to learn, grow, network, and achieve at a higher level. This group of Gr8 Women Leaders are already amazing leaders, but they recognize that they can grow and become even better. They have a strong desire to learn, and they are willing to invest their valuable time, energy, and money to gain an edge and become the best version of themselves.

During our kick-off session, we had a thought-provoking discussion about what makes a leader great. Here's a list of qualities the SOS Gr8 Women came up with...

A Gr8 Leader...

• Is a good listener and skilled communicator.
• Has confidence.
• Lives with integrity.
• Is effective.
• Encourages others and helps them to see what they're capable of accomplishing.
• Is thoughtful.
• Has vision.
• Is decisive.
• Is willing to recognize and acknowledge her failures and weaknesses. 
• Is emotionally intelligent.
• Has passion. 
• Is flexible.
• Shows humility.
• Is respected and respectful.
• Has strong motivation and drive to learn, grow, and achieve.
• Earns the trust of others.
• Is credible.
• Relates well to others.
• Is courageous.
• Shows empathy.
• Trusts her intuition.
• Lives ethically.
• Is genuine.
• Has a sense of humor.
• Is realistic.
• Focuses on her goals.
• Is accountable.
• Allows herself to be vulnerable.
• Is authentic.
• Builds her expertise.
• Is bold.

This is a comprehensive list from a group of truly remarkable leaders. What else would you add to this list? Share your ideas in the comments below. I'm looking forward to hearing your thoughts. 

One of the foundational beliefs that SOS Partner, Amber Fogarty, has about leadership is that there is no cookie cutter approach. One size doesn't fit all; it never has and it never will. Each and every one of you has your own unique leadership style. In order to grow as a leader, you have to focus on understanding who you are, what leadership means to you, and how YOU want to lead in a way that is uniquely yours. That's what the SOS Gr8 Women Leaders Program is all about. Our goal is to grow with you...we exist to empower and equip leaders (THAT'S YOU) to make a difference!

Check out this short video to learn more about the SOS Gr8 Women Leaders Program! Our next group will begin in February 2014.  If you're interested in learning more, email us!